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Some people think that young people should go to university to futher their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

While some people insist that students should go to a college or university to pursue higher education, others argue that they should start working on their career as soon as they finish high school. In my opinion, both options have their merits and demerits and it is up to the students to decide which option is better for them. There are several benefits to pursuing higher education at university. To start with, university education equips students with the skills required to become a competent professional. For example, one cannot become a doctor or an advocate without going to university because these jobs require specialist skills that can only be obtained from an authorised educational education. Also, university education increases the knowledge and decision making skills of students. Both qualities will benefit them when they enter the job market. On the flip side, there are several jobs that do not require university education. For example, one doesn’t necessarily need a degree in hotel management to launch one’s own restaurant or food joint. Likewise, one does not require a degree in textiles management or garment designing to start a tailoring unit. More than any academic qualifications what these jobs require is a genuine interest in that field. Actually starting early gives budding entrepreneurs a better opportunity to establish themselves before competition gets tougher. To conclude, while a university degree is a must for certain professions there are sectors that value work experience more. Having said that, university degrees certainly do not hurt the career prospects of a person. Rather it empowers them. In my opinion, it is up to the individual to decide whether they should go to university or find work after leaving school.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should go to a college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, others argue that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working on their career as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they finish high school. In my opinion, both options have their merits and demerits and it is up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to decide which option is better for them.

There are several benefits to pursuing higher
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education
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
equips
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required to become a competent professional.
For example
, one cannot become a doctor or an advocate without going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
specialist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be obtained
from an
Possible spelling mistake. 'authorised' is British English.
authorised
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
increases the knowledge and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Both qualities will benefit them when they enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.

On the flip side, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
, one doesn’t
necessarily
need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in hotel management to launch one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
restaurant or food joint.
Likewise
, one does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in textiles management or garment designing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a tailoring unit. More than any academic qualifications what these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
is a genuine interest in that field. Actually starting early gives budding entrepreneurs a better opportunity to establish themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
tougher.

To conclude
, while a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for certain professions there are sectors that value work experience more. Having said that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
certainly
do not hurt the career prospects of a person.
Rather
it empowers them. In my opinion, it is up to the individual to decide whether they should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or find work after leaving school.
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IELTS essay Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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