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Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. v. 1
In this ever changing humanity, the demand for the teenagers serve the country is increasing, some individuals argues that young people should acquire a college degree while others think that they should be motivated to work in as automobile mechanics or builder etc. To help the public. The writer will discuss both views and an opinion will be added to the later. To start with, the young people are much eager to study continually after graduating high school, due to the fact that their minds are fresh from the high school education. Teenagers, loves to be with their friends in the same year of education and sometimes it's much more beneficial to learn by having trusted peers on the side. In addition, the earlier to finish college the better chance to have job and serve more better the nation professionally and much more efficient than just the mean jobs. Just like the CEO of the Facebook who manage to build the company out of his thesis project. However, others think that young teens should support the community at an early stage by working as a truck mechanic or manual labour on a construction site. Channeling their fountain of energy in this age is in good use, in exchange of video games and social media site wastage of time teenagers will be productive by helping the civilization in participating in manual task in the motor garage or construction site, ergo, win-win situation. In addition, they will have the time to think of what they will pursue in college, just like having a ‘gap year’. Although, few people think that teenagers must be encouraged to work as a car mechanic or a construction worker in order to serve the humanity, I find It illogical because there are already present labourers around with much more experience thus making the project efficiently and not be wasted by the un-experienced teens. In conclusion, with all the views discussed, I strongly agree that teenagers must go to for university after secondary education immediately due to the support they have and also in the long run they can serve the society effectively as a professional worker and not just the repetitive works of the manual labourer.
In this
ever changing
humanity, the demand for the
teenagers
serve
the country is increasing,
some
individuals argues that young
people
should acquire a college degree while others
think
that they should
be motivated
to work in as automobile mechanics or builder etc. To
help
the public. The writer will discuss both views and an opinion will be
added
to the
later
.

To
start
with, the young
people
are
much
eager to study
continually
after
graduating
high school, due to the fact that their minds are fresh from the high school education.
Teenagers
,
loves
to be with their friends in the same year of education and
sometimes
it's
much
more beneficial to learn by having trusted peers on the side.
In addition
, the earlier to finish college the better chance to have job and
serve
more better
the nation
professionally
and
much
more efficient than
just
the mean jobs.
Just
like the CEO of the Facebook who manage to build the
company
out of his thesis project.

However
, others
think
that young teens should support the community at an early stage by working as a truck mechanic or manual
labour
on a construction site. Channeling their fountain of energy in this age is in
good
use
,
in exchange of
video games and social media site wastage of time
teenagers
will be productive by helping the civilization
in participating in
manual task in the motor garage or construction site, ergo, win-win situation.
In addition
, they will have the time to
think
of what they will pursue in college,
just
like having a ‘gap year’.

Although, few
people
think
that
teenagers
must
be encouraged
to work as a car mechanic or a construction worker in order to
serve
the humanity, I find It illogical
because
there are already present
labourers
around with
much
more experience
thus
making the project
efficiently
and not
be wasted
by the
un-experienced
teens.

In conclusion
, with all the views discussed, I
strongly
agree
that
teenagers
must
go to for university after secondary education immediately due to the support they have and
also
in the long run they can
serve
the society
effectively
as a professional worker and not
just
the repetitive works of the manual
labourer
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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