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A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. with this statement? v. 1
The scientist and the government harder with the years keep health care in proper conditions that trigger complaints from the side of people. However, since people can independently take care of themselves, so keep their health in the proper condition probably more each person responsibility than the authority. Consequently, from my perspective, today people and the authorities have in health care equally parts of responsibilities, thereby my position partially disagrees with the topic statement. Firstly, few people can deny the fact that only the government responsibilities procurement and control. For instance, just the authorities can monitor for conditions of local hospitals and availability medications, as well new viruses and medical equipment around the world. Since, presently, people live in the turbulent times where viruses time to time outrun doctor capabilities: so these activities have a direct impact on health each person because doctors without the good stuff cannot heal people properly. However, people have many other sicknesses that can prevent by healthy lifestyle or such disease have long been known, so heal or keep on one level without support the government. For example, all chronic illness or ordinary flu. Moreover, the authority cannot control each person who travels that sometimes lead to controversial aftermaths because or in the host country outbreak new sickness, or people do not lead all rule hygiene and they caught something and brought it in the homeland there do not have proper medicaments. Thus, oversight for own health by prophylaxis and leading all rules, only people's responsibilities. To conclude, I believe that responsibility, keep the well-being in proper conditions, lie to both people and the authority equally.
The scientist and the
government
harder with the years
keep
health
care in
proper
conditions that trigger complaints from the side of
people
.
However
, since
people
can
independently
take care of themselves,
so
keep
their
health
in the
proper
condition
probably
more each person
responsibility
than the
authority
.
Consequently
, from my perspective,
today
people
and the
authorities
have in
health
care
equally
parts of
responsibilities
, thereby my position
partially
disagrees with the topic statement.

Firstly
, few
people
can deny the fact that
only
the
government
responsibilities
procurement and control.
For instance
,
just
the
authorities
can monitor for conditions of local hospitals and availability medications,
as well
new viruses and medical equipment around the world. Since,
presently
,
people
live
in the turbulent
times where
viruses time to time outrun doctor capabilities:
so
these activities have a direct impact on
health
each person
because
doctors without the
good
stuff cannot heal
people
properly
.

However
,
people
have
many
other sicknesses that can
prevent
by healthy lifestyle or such disease have long
been known
,
so
heal or
keep
on one level without support the
government
.
For example
, all chronic illness or ordinary flu.
Moreover
, the
authority
cannot control each person who travels that
sometimes
lead to controversial aftermaths
because
or in the host country outbreak new sickness, or
people
do not lead all
rule
hygiene and
they caught something and
brought it in the homeland
there do not have
proper
medicaments
.
Thus
, oversight for
own
health
by prophylaxis and leading all
rules
,
only
people
's responsibilities.

To conclude
, I believe that
responsibility
,
keep
the well-being in
proper
conditions, lie to both
people
and the
authority
equally
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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