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Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. v. 8
One of the most life-determining stages that a person will face after high school graduation: go to university or work. There is no definite answer to which option is better and this issue has remained a controversy question for students worldwide. Some believe that receiving higher education will lead to better job opportunities and career goals. On the other hand, some think that working at an earlier stage is more beneficial as higher education are costly and useless. Graduating with a bachelor’s degree provides great benefits to individuals. Many existing well-paid jobs in the market require a bachelor’s degree because those jobs require skills such as rhetoric and calculus skills. These skills can only be acquired by attending a university. Another reason to why attending a university is beneficial is because one can achieve more with a degree. As mentioned above, many companies will only consider college graduates for jobs that require professionalism. In other words, those with college degrees are open to a wide selection of jobs and opportunities, meaning that this wide selection will allow fresh graduates to find a career that suits them the most. This will allow them to utilize their abilities and bring greater achievements and satisfaction in their career life. That is why certain amount of people tend to go to university after high school graduation. In contrast, some people are skeptical towards the mentioned benefits. They think that it is wise to work at an earlier stage because tuitions are extremely pricy. Adding to that, graduates are not guaranteed to obtain their desired profession, therefore, it is a waste of money and there is no use in attending a university. Their claim is not completely incorrect as studies have shown that many graduates ended up attaining a job that does not require any skills that related to their majors. In summary, it is understandable why both sides have separate standings on the issue. However, without a degree, do we even get a chance to apply for well-paid jobs? A degree is a must for those who aim to establish great career achievements in their lives, and I am one of them.
One of the most life-determining stages that a person will face after high school graduation: go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or work. There is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
answer to which option is better and this issue has remained a controversy question for students worldwide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that receiving higher education will lead to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that working at an earlier stage is more beneficial as higher education are costly and useless.

Graduating with a bachelor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
provides great benefits to individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
existing well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
a bachelor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as rhetoric and calculus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be acquired
by attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Another reason to why attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is beneficial is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one can achieve more with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. As mentioned above,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consider college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
professionalism.
In other words
, those with college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
are open to a wide selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and opportunities, meaning that this wide selection will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that suits them the most. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to utilize their abilities and bring greater achievements and satisfaction in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
life.
That is
why certain amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
after high school graduation.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are skeptical towards the mentioned benefits. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is wise to work at an earlier stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
are
extremely
Possible spelling mistake found.
pricy
. Adding to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are not guaranteed to obtain their desired profession,
therefore
, it is a waste of money and there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Their claim is not completely incorrect as studies have shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
ended up attaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that related to their majors.

In summary, it is understandable why both sides have separate standings on the issue.
However
, without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, do we even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to apply for well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
? A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for those who aim to establish great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
achievements in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and I am one of them.
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One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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