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Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.12

Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc to serve society. 12
Concerning to educate there are a broader range of opinions by which young people should opt whether proceed academic studies or serving the community. In this essay will be discussed both views whereby it is argued that how crucial young adults should go straight from secondary to university, following by explained the reasons of the foundation for those ones who chose to serve society. It is believed that encouraging young adults to proceed academic studies after finishing the secondary provides a greater far-reaching progress in their study methods and motivate their learning. In this way, those characteristics are a vital way to become faster and more efficient learns in order to adapt themselves to new academic approaches by virtue to reach good grades, mastering information, or in other hand a subject is not what the person was expected, the motivation together with discipline would help one to overcome their difficulties. For example, there are so many case studies that reveal the importance of master tools such as researching, paraphrasing and respecting essay deadlines in order to reach a higher qualification at the end of the bachelor and find a well-paid job. Young adult should be encouraged to serve society because of doing so will help them to build up their personality and awareness in order to become a better citizen. Starting work provides routines and responsibilities which should help to become more mature in the personal and professional life. In addition, receiving a monthly remuneration will make them to contribute to paying taxes, and pension as also constitute family become a priority. For instance, psychology magazine report academic studies which introduce the theme of serving community for those ones who do not know about the dream job they wondering to do in the future, as a result these youth when introduced into the labour work they show a higher performance and focus employee. To sum up, both views is based on the distinct purpose of teaching a young people to become a better citizen. Although, serving society will bring several social responsibilities to individuals as well as to the community, rather than those ones who kept studies at university. Therefore, my point of view is based on continue to study because of those ones are much more prepared, focusing and motivated to readopted them to advance study’s methodology.
Concerning to educate there are a broader range of opinions by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should opt whether proceed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
or serving the community. In this essay will
be discussed
both views whereby it
is argued
that how crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults should go straight from secondary to university, following by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the reasons of the foundation for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who chose to serve society.

It
is believed
that encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults to proceed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after finishing the secondary provides a greater far-reaching progress in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
methods and motivate their learning. In this way, those characteristics are a vital way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
faster and more efficient learns in order to adapt themselves to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
approaches by virtue to reach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades, mastering information, or in other hand a subject is not what the person was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, the motivation together with discipline would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one to overcome their difficulties.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
that reveal the importance of master tools such as researching, paraphrasing and respecting essay deadlines in order to reach a higher qualification at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the bachelor and find a well-paid job.

Young adult should
be encouraged
to serve society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to build up their personality and awareness in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a better citizen. Starting work provides routines and responsibilities which should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more mature in the personal and professional life.
In addition
, receiving a monthly remuneration will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to contribute to paying taxes, and pension as
also
constitute family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a priority.
For instance
, psychology magazine report
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
which introduce the theme of serving community for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who do not know about the dream job
Did you mean "they're wondering", "they are wondering", or "they were wondering"?
they wondering
to do in the future,
as a result
Did you mean "this youth" or "these youths"?
these youth
when introduced into the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
work they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a higher performance and focus employee.

To sum up, both views
is based
on the distinct purpose of teaching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a better citizen. Although, serving society will bring several social responsibilities to individuals
as well
as to the community,
rather
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
at university.
Therefore
, my point of view
is based
on continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are much more prepared, focusing and motivated to readopted them to advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study’s
methodology.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc to serve society. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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