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Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour. v.4

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour. v. 4
In this decade, the consumption of tobacco has risen in popularity. People consider it to be the sign of richness, but it is no more than an evil sin. I, think abandoning it is necessary at places like work, hotels. This essay delve to explore both the aspects to finally form an opinion. On one side, people abide by the concept of tobacco ban as they are more concerned with the health of a person in the society. The reason for this is people are literate today, and they very well know the hazards posed, being a passive smoker. A person, who is smoking might suffer from diseases like: Lung cancer; accumulation of tar in the lungs, oral problems like; gingivitis and halitosis; in the severe cases a person can get oral cancer too, which could ultimately lead to death, but these ill effects are not limited only to a smoker, a person sitting close to him can also be affected. To exemplify, restaurants are often crowded, so if one person smokes, he makes others also, to inhale the same gases and finally getting sick. Therefore, it is imperative to ban tobacco in public places. On the other hand, people say tobacco should not be banned, as it is one of the sources of revenue of the nation. They say people are matured, they know their good and bad, the government need not to take such strict actions. Moreover, we live in a republic and an independent nation, where each individual has right to do what they love weather in public or private. After knowing the arguments and counter arguments, I am of the opinion that not only this poison like tobacco, also regarded as slow killer, should be banned, but people violating the law should also be punished. After all, smokers being culprit take thousands of lives with them. In conclusion, although tobacco could bring money to people, but it should not be forgotten that it has taken more lives. Therefore, considering the devastating effects of this weed on human health it is important to ban it.
In this decade, the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
has risen in popularity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
consider it to be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of richness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is no more than an evil sin. I,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
abandoning it is necessary at places like work, hotels.
The verb 'delve' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay delves"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay delve
to explore both the aspects to
finally
form an opinion.

On one side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
abide by the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
ban as they are more concerned with the health of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in the society.
The reason for this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are literate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well know the hazards posed, being a passive smoker. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, who is smoking might suffer from diseases like: Lung cancer; accumulation of tar in the lungs, oral problems like; gingivitis and halitosis; in the severe cases a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
oral cancer too, which could
ultimately
lead to death,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these ill effects are not limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to a smoker, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
sitting close to him can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. To exemplify, restaurants are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
crowded,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
smokes, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
others
also
, to inhale the same gases and
finally
getting sick.
Therefore
, it is imperative to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
in public places.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
should not
be banned
, as it is one of the sources of revenue of the nation. They say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are matured
, they know their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need not
Did you mean "take"?
to take
such strict actions.
Moreover
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a republic and an independent nation, where each individual has right to do what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
weather in public or private.

After knowing the arguments and counter arguments, I am of the opinion that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this poison like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
,
also
regarded as slow killer, should
be banned
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
violating the law should
also
be punished
.
After all
, smokers being culprit take thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with them.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
could bring money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be forgotten
that it has taken more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
, considering the devastating effects of this weed on human health it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to ban it.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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