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Despite the best affords of crime fighting organizations 0417, crime will never be eradicated from civil society. To what extend do u agree? v.1

Despite the best affords of crime fighting organizations 0417, crime will never be eradicated from civil society. v. 1
In these days, misconduct has become more evident worldwide phenomenon. In big cities, the infraction is increasing extremely rapidly. Some people think that the best affords of transgression fighting organizations went in vain and lawlessness will never be demolished from the society. I completely agree with above point of view and I will explain in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, firstly, the poverty is emerging day by day. Due to this, the underprivileged do not have more money. So that they do not fulfil the demands of their children and poor people join the criminal activities for earning money with the help of wrongdoing which affects their children badly. Due to this, the poor people are becoming habitual to do these works for fulfilling the demands in their life. Secondly, not only does the poverty force the people to do worse activities, but also the unemployment a major problem in their life. In rural areas, the government does not provide the best education because they do not have good skilled teachers. As a consequence, they jeopardize the future of child life. For example, recently a survey revealed that in India government enacted strict rules, but 80% people did not follow this rule and people broke the rules. To conclude, lawlessness fighting organizations provide new rules to evil eradicated from society. The essay discussed, there are many problems in India due to violation do not demolish: poverty and unemployment. If the government provides funds to the poor people so that they do not join bad activities.
In these days, misconduct has become more evident worldwide phenomenon. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, the infraction is increasing
extremely
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best affords of transgression fighting organizations went in vain and lawlessness will never
be demolished
from the society. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with above point of view and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with,
firstly
, the poverty is emerging day by day. Due to this, the underprivileged do not have more money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that they do not fulfil the demands of their children and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the criminal activities for earning money with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of wrongdoing which affects their children
badly
. Due to this, the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming habitual to do these works for fulfilling the demands in their life.
Secondly
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the poverty force the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do worse activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the unemployment a major problem in their life.

In rural areas, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not provide the best education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
skilled teachers. As a consequence, they jeopardize the future of child life.
For example
, recently a survey revealed that in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
enacted strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not follow this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
broke the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

To conclude
, lawlessness fighting organizations provide new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to evil eradicated from society. The essay discussed, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in India due to violation do not demolish: poverty and unemployment. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides funds to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Despite the best affords of crime fighting organizations 0417, crime will never be eradicated from civil society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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