Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Modern technology is now very common in most work place. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology? v.4

Modern technology is now very common in most work place. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology? v. 4
It is often claimed that advanced technology is quite ubiquitous in the majority of the workplace. I am of the opinion that technology has revolutionized the way co-workers’ patterns of interactions and also saving time; however, it is likely to the absence of physical wellness. The initial merit of technology is that interaction between employees and managers has seen a considerable modification via utilizing the internet, mobile phones and other social networking sites. The staff can converse about a wide range of business issues as well as address numerous problems by communicating with each other. What is more, the recent technological devices provide to perform routine tasks such as typing and also transferring document which leads to business operations to consume less time. To cite an example, three score years ago the design of multi-storey erection took around couple years; however, in the era of technology utilizing the computer has accomplished it within 2 or 3 hours. Therefore, the modern technology has altered the way our work while not only conducting communication among workforce but saving time efficiently. On the downside of being overly connected with technology is that it is the culprit of detrimental health issues which result in any – long term problems. That is, smartphones or computers’ increasing presence in our lives for multiple hours has effected on our eyesight negatively. Furthermore, most everyday digital technologies are sedentary which is known to have irreversible health effects, such as contributing to: cardiovascular ailments, diabetes also obesity. Hence, it should be mentioned there are some potential existential risks of presence of the modern technology in our life. In conclusion, it can be affirmed that technology has certainly ameliorated working life by offering superb collaboration among staff whereas it may cause physical disorders.
It is
often
claimed that advanced
technology
is quite ubiquitous in the majority of the workplace. I am of the opinion that
technology
has revolutionized the way co-workers’ patterns of interactions and
also
saving time;
however
, it is likely to the absence of physical wellness.

The initial merit of
technology
is that interaction between employees and managers has
seen
a considerable modification via utilizing the internet, mobile phones and other social networking sites. The staff can converse about a wide range of business issues
as well
as address numerous problems by communicating with each other.
What is more
, the recent technological devices provide to perform routine tasks such as typing and
also
transferring document which leads to business operations to consume less time. To cite an example, three score years ago the design of
multi-storey
erection took around couple years;
however
, in the era of
technology
utilizing the computer has accomplished it within 2 or 3 hours.
Therefore
, the modern
technology
has altered the way our work while not
only
conducting communication among workforce
but
saving time
efficiently
.

On the downside of being
overly
connected with
technology
is that it is the culprit of detrimental health issues which result in any
long term problems.
That is
, smartphones or computers’ increasing presence in our
lives
for multiple hours has effected on our eyesight
negatively
.
Furthermore
, most everyday digital
technologies
are sedentary which
is known
to have irreversible health effects, such as contributing to: cardiovascular ailments, diabetes
also
obesity.
Hence
, it should
be mentioned
there are
some
potential existential
risks
of presence of the modern
technology
in our life.

In conclusion
, it can
be affirmed
that
technology
has
certainly
ameliorated working life by offering superb collaboration among staff whereas it may cause physical disorders.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology is now very common in most work place. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts