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Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. v. 7
In recent years, the idea of wildlife being kept in zoos has been extensively debated. Some believe that animals are not meant to be held captive, while others argue that zoos play an important role in wildlife preservation. This essay will discuss both views, although I agree with the former. Firstly, no complex being can thrive in captivity. Especially wild animals have complex social interactions with each other and their ecosystems and cannot adapt to man-made environments. I personally agree with this point of view because I strongly believe that animals are not objects that we can use for entertainment purposes, even if we provide some food and shelter. For instance, most animals refuse to mate in captivity because they lack the natural conditions in which they conduct their mating rituals, such as the possibility to choose from multiple partners. On the other hand, some people find zoos useful for their role in promoting awareness towards the preservation of endangered species. However, their extinction is caused by the actions of humans, such as extensive hunting, poaching, deforestation or pollution. Advances in medicine and technology have enabled people to help some species not to become extinct, but most animals that are bred in captivity cannot survive in natural conditions. A viable alternative to zoos is, for example, natural parks where we can help animals without interfering so much in their lives. In conclusion, I believe that zoos are becoming obsolete and that people should change their attitude towards wildlife and not keep animals in zoos.
In recent years, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of wildlife being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos has been
extensively
debated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not meant to
be held
captive, while others argue that zoos play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in wildlife preservation. This essay will discuss both views, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former.

Firstly
, no complex being can thrive in captivity.
Especially
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have complex social interactions with each other and their ecosystems and cannot adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made environments. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not objects that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for entertainment purposes, even if we provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food and shelter.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
refuse to mate in captivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lack the natural conditions in which they conduct their mating rituals, such as the possibility to choose from multiple partners.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find zoos useful for their role in promoting awareness towards the preservation of endangered species.
However
, their extinction
is caused
by the actions of humans, such as extensive hunting, poaching, deforestation or pollution. Advances in medicine and technology have enabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species not to become extinct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that
are bred
in captivity cannot survive in natural conditions. A viable alternative to zoos is,
for example
, natural parks where we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
without interfering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I believe that zoos are becoming obsolete and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude towards wildlife and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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