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Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale with others believe it is better to deal with them nationally Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.2

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale with others believe it is better to deal with them nationally 2
Environmental issues are highly concern recently. While there are some benefits to solve the problems nationally, I would argue that it is better if countries join hands together. The option to deal with environmental issues individually does have its merit. The general idea is this option will provide the flexibility on how to tackle the problems. For example, in China air pollution is mostly caused by vehicles’ emission. However, the culprit create air pollution in Germany is the industrial’s emission. Each country will need a different plan on reducing the emission in this case. The drawback is that because of working nationally, there is no cross reference to prove the plan is efficiency or not. The alternative suggestion of facing environmental problems globally seem more likely to be effective in practice. The greatest advantage of this idea is the resources extension. Undeveloped countries can gain access to broad range of knowledge, researches and experience from developed countries since many problems had been deal with in the past. In addition, working globally can raise the awareness on large scale. There are various people know the global warming phenomenon but not all of them know the phenomenon’s affect. Countries lie deep in center of continent do not have to experience the sea level rising affect. As a result, they tend to not understand how serious the problem is. Another point in favor of this opinion is by working together, nations can monitor each other’s. Some countries tend to focus on developing process and ignore the waste treatment process. My conclusion is therefore that it may seem easier to solve the problems nationally, in practice, dealing with environmental issues would be more effective when work in global scale.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
issues are
highly
concern recently. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
nationally
, I would argue that it is better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands together.

The option to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues
individually
does have its merit. The general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is this option will provide the flexibility on how to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For example
, in China air pollution is
mostly
caused by vehicles’ emission.
However
, the culprit create air pollution in Germany is the industrial’s emission. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will need a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
plan on reducing the emission
in this case
. The drawback is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of working
nationally
, there is no
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cross reference
to prove the plan is efficiency or not.

The alternative suggestion of facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
globally seem more likely to be effective in practice.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
greatest advantage of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "resources'" or "resource's"?
resources
extension. Undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can gain access to broad range of knowledge, researches and experience from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
had been deal with in the past.
In addition
, working globally can raise the awareness on large scale. There are various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know the global warming phenomenon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all of them know the phenomenon’s affect.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
lie deep in center of continent do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
experience the sea level rising affect.
As a result
, they tend to not understand how serious the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is. Another point in favor of this opinion is by working together, nations can monitor each other’s.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
tend to focus on developing process and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the waste treatment process.

My conclusion is
therefore
that it may seem easier to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
nationally
, in practice, dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues would be more effective when work in global scale.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale with others believe it is better to deal with them nationally 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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