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Some people think that we do not need to print papers newspapers anymore. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that we do not need to print papers newspapers anymore. v. 1
Many individuals have a rigid lifestyle with hardly any alteration in their routine, even though some prefer changes because they bring new learning or experience. I am in favour of this because it helps a person to develop resilience and many other skills that are beneficial for life. The following paragraphs will discuss both views and elaborate on my opinion. Firstly, starting with the people who do not appreciate change, keep on doing the same thing that takes away the opportunity to learn new skills. Doing the same thing over and over again does not require much mental activity, due to repetition, as the task becomes an automatic response. For instance, the people who cook similar kinds of food every day, practice the same variety of skills or techniques. Whereas trying a new recipe requires additional attention and caution. In my opinion, most humans avoid changes due to uncertainty and anxiety of being unfamiliar, which is not the right approach because they might underplay their capacity. Moving on to people who perceive change as an opportunity to test their potential in new situations, develop more skills when compared to others. To get adjusted into a new position, people require planning, problem-solving skills, flexibility and resilience. These skills can be useful in all domains of life. For example, changing a new house might bring struggles, but at the same time, it provides a chance to meet new people. According to me, until we don’t expose our self to new situations, we cannot have a fresh experience. To conclude, adjusting self into new changes can be different for individuals due to their capabilities. Although, changes lead to learning and experience that is an essential part of life that can be gained by exposing to changes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals have a rigid lifestyle with hardly any alteration in their routine,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
learning or experience. I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person to develop resilience and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that are beneficial for life. The following paragraphs will discuss both views and elaborate on my opinion.

Firstly
, starting with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on doing the same thing that takes away the opportunity to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Doing the same thing over and over again does not require much mental activity, due to repetition, as the task becomes an automatic response.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cook similar kinds of food every day, practice the same variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or techniques. Whereas trying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
recipe requires additional attention and caution. In my opinion, most humans avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
due to uncertainty and anxiety of being unfamiliar, which is not the right approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might underplay their capacity.

Moving on to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who perceive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
as an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their potential in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
situations, develop more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
when compared to others. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adjusted into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
position,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
require planning, problem-solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, flexibility and resilience. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can be useful in all domains of life.
For example
, changing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
might bring struggles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, it provides a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, until we don’t expose our self to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
situations, we cannot have a fresh experience.

To conclude
, adjusting self into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for individuals due to their capabilities. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
lead to learning and experience
that is
an essential part of life that can
be gained
by exposing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people think that we do not need to print papers newspapers anymore. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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