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Some people think that we do not need to print papers newspapers anymore. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that we do not need to print papers newspapers anymore. v. 2
There are different perspectives about printing papers, newspapers. However, the printing ways to provide the news cannot cope with the fast changing society and the development of technologies makes it easier for people to acquire information. Therefore, I completely agree that there will be no need for printing newspapers. Newspapers would not need to be printed, because people are surrounded by information and easily shared within their societal group. They can easily update and share information with each other and can enhance their relationships. For example, people are associated with at least one societal group such as a school or a work. From there, people can easily share the latest news each other and can develop the communication. By the time, newspapers being printed and published, the news become outdated and the information may irrelevant. Since we are living in a fast-moving society and the newspapers and news should be changed at rapidity. In the case of US election, for instance, all the other technologies have kept updating with the process of elections whereas the newspapers only published with the final result. Therefore, publishing papers cannot follow with the speed of society changes. Printed papers, newspapers would disappear because people use alternative forms to acquire information. It is a fact that, a majority of the people already acquire information through TV, internet or mobile phones for its convenience. Lets’ take an example for my house, my grandmother acquired news from TV, my parents received the news from internet and I heard about the latest news through mobile phones. Therefore, people have changed the ways to acquire information overtime. In conclusion, the weakness of printed newspapers cannot overtake the strengths of modern technologies and societal group. Therefore, the demand for printing would be reduced.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
printing papers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
However
, the printing ways to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
cannot cope with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
changing society and the development of technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there will be no need for printing newspapers.

Newspapers would not need to
be printed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
easily
shared within their societal group. They can
easily
update and share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with each other and can enhance their relationships.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are associated
with at least one societal group such as a school or a work. From there,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
share the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
each other and can develop the communication.

By the time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
being printed
and published, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
become outdated and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may irrelevant. Since we are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-moving society and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
at rapidity. In the case of US election,
for instance
, all the other technologies have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
updating with the process of elections whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
published with the final result.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, publishing papers cannot follow with the speed of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Printed papers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
would disappear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
alternative forms to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. It is a fact that, a majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through TV, internet or mobile phones for its convenience.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lets
’ take an example for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, my grandmother acquired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from TV, my parents received the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from internet and I heard about the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
through mobile phones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
overtime.

In conclusion
, the weakness of printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
cannot overtake the strengths of modern technologies and societal group.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, the demand for printing would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that we do not need to print papers newspapers anymore. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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