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Some people think that watching sport is a waste of leisure time. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people think that watching sport is a waste of leisure time. v. 5
Sporting activities are becoming increasingly popular. It is argued by some people that watching of sporting games is waste of free periods, In my opinion, I disagree that viewing sport related competition is time wastage because this is a form of relaxation, as well as builds cordial relationships in a society. Firstly, one major reason why I believe sport watching is not a misuse of free time is that this period serves as a method for relaxing. In other words, visiting the sport centres usually helps people relax after a stressful period, thus, aiding strenght regaining and mental alertness which promotes a fantastic health. For instance, some men in a community in Lagos state visited the stadium every Saturday to watch their favourite team play for a year and they reported that this activity aided their immunity as they rarely fell sick during this period. As a result, watching competitive games boost the body's health and helps rejuvenate lost calories. Another point to consider is that this physical recreational activities promote bonding between people in a society. That is, gathering due to sporting events brings about conversations, meeting new people, and exchange of personal contacts which often leads to friendship. So, this has a positive effect on people's attitude and relationship with members of their community, especially if they are both supporters of the same team. For example, Nigeria's sports minister in 2018 reported that the country had the highest social gathering during the Final cup competition between Nigeria and England. Therefore, watching these competitions aids bonding and togetherness among the people. In conclusion, seeing recreational sports during free times is not wasteful because this helps the body to regain lost energy and builds a peaceful environment.
Sporting activities are becoming
increasingly
popular. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that watching of sporting games is waste of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
periods
, In my opinion, I disagree that viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
related competition is time wastage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is a form of relaxation,
as well
as builds cordial relationships in a society.

Firstly
, one major reason why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
watching is not a misuse of free time is that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
serves as a method for relaxing.
In other words
, visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relax after a stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
,
thus
, aiding
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenght
regaining and mental alertness which promotes a fantastic health.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in a community in Lagos state visited the stadium every Saturday to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
team play for a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
year and
they reported that this activity aided their immunity as they rarely fell sick during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
As a result
, watching competitive games boost the body's health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
rejuvenate lost calories.

Another point to consider is that this physical recreational activities promote bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a society.
That is
, gathering due to sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
brings about conversations, meeting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and exchange of personal contacts which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to friendship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attitude and relationship with members of their community,
especially
if they are both supporters of the same team.
For example
, Nigeria's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
minister in 2018 reported that the country had the highest social gathering during the Final cup competition between Nigeria and England.
Therefore
, watching these competitions aids bonding and togetherness among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, seeing recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
during free times is not wasteful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the body to regain lost energy and builds a peaceful environment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think that watching sport is a waste of leisure time. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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