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Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important? v.2

Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important? v. 2
Job satisfaction plays key role in the life of the working person. Proper and effective work makes our professional career enjoyable. However, nowadays in many developing it is really hard for any person to find work in their area of interest. I think that job satisfaction is significant for our career goals. To start with, there are many reasons behind this trend. First, the economy of these nations is not in a good shape. Often people have to compete hard to find work and have to compromise with their work and wages. Further, Higher inflation and unemployment rate make their life even more difficult. They always have extreme pressure to earn sufficient money to fulfil the basic requirements of their family. Apart from that they do not get sufficient support from state or public organizations. Therefore, they require to choose whatever work offered to them. For example, in countries like India and China many professional engineers are working on irrelevant support work which does not offer them expected salary and technical knowledge. As per my opinion, job satisfaction plays important role in our professional career. Proper, effective and suitable work offers tremendous satisfaction. People enjoy such jobs and stick with them for the long term. It also helps them to maintain balance between work and family. Moreover, I believe that at the start of a career we should focus on salary rather than work and in the later part of the work life we should focus more on work. Further, before selecting our work, we should also consider other factors like financial condition, family position and the economy of the nation. To conclude, job satisfaction is the backbone of our professional life and we should always give more importance to it if possible in our work life because it's feels us more comfortable and achieving our goals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
plays key role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the working person. Proper and effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
enjoyable.
However
, nowadays in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing it is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for any person to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their area of interest. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is significant for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this trend.
First
, the economy of these nations is not in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compromise with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and wages.
Further
, Higher inflation and unemployment rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
even more difficult. They always have extreme pressure to earn sufficient money to fulfil the basic requirements of their family. Apart from that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient support from state or public organizations.
Therefore
, they require
Did you mean "choosing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to choose
whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
offered to them.
For example
, in countries like India and China
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
engineers are working on irrelevant support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which does not offer them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
salary and technical knowledge.

As per my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Proper, effective and suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
offers tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
enjoy such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and stick with them for the long term. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to maintain balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and family.
Moreover
, I believe that at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
we should focus on salary
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and in the later part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
we should focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
selecting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, we should
also
consider other factors like financial condition, family position and the economy of the nation.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is the backbone of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
we should always give more importance to it if possible in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's feels us more comfortable and achieving our goals.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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