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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 4
Tertiary education is one of the most colossal achievement one can have. Some school of thoughts think the purpose of this system is assist baccalaureates in getting a job, while other believe there are much broader advantages for one and the public in general. This essay will look at this arguments in details. To begin with, those who assume that university education is solely for easy employability, do so because most employers of labor are looking for individuals who are copacetic educationally. For example, most parents want their children to become medical doctors because this profession easily gets hired. Therefore, job security is the main reason they envisage one should go to the university. In addition, people with secondary school education only, don’t get paid as much as those with college degrees. However, I am convinced that higher education is for the development of an individual’s mental sagacity and to enable him find solutions to the problems In the world. This is because the tutelage obtained in tertiary institutions helps one learn principles and laws that will help a person make inform decisions in his life and also help him embark on research that will provide answers to the needs of man. For instance, a research done by Harvard university discovered that the greatest contributors to the advancement of the communities in terms of science and technology were graduates. Consequently, the society we live in today will not be possible without the knowledge and experience this individuals gained from the universities. In conclusion, this essay has looked at two controversial opinions about the aim of university education. In my opinion, it is a harbinger for individual and societal development rather than to secure a good job.
Tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is one of the most colossal achievement one can have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
school of thoughts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the purpose of this system is assist baccalaureates in getting a job, while other believe there are much broader advantages for one and the public
in general
. This essay will look at this arguments in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, those who assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
solely
for easy employability, do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most employers of labor are looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who are copacetic
educationally
.
For example
, most parents want their children to become medical doctors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this profession
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
hired.
Therefore
, job security is the main reason they envisage one should go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with secondary school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid as much as those with college degrees.

However
, I
am convinced
that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is for the development of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
mental sagacity and to enable him find solutions to the problems In the world. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the tutelage obtained in tertiary institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one learn principles and laws that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
inform decisions in his life and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him embark on research that will provide answers to the needs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
For instance
, a research done by Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
discovered that the greatest contributors to the advancement of the communities in terms of science and technology were graduates.
Consequently
, the society we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
will not be possible without the knowledge and experience
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
gained from the universities.

In conclusion
, this essay has looked at two controversial opinions about the aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In my opinion, it is a harbinger for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and societal development
rather
than to secure a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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