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Some people think that they can learn better bu themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay v.1

Some people think that they can learn better bu themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay v. 1
A friend is the one who is always there to support you and love you for the person you are. A friend could be your colleague or classmate or even your family members. Nowadays, they have become a very important part of our life and for most people friends are more closer and necessary than family. There can be many reasons why people say friends are more important. Firstly, due to work mostly everyone is staying away from their home and all we have is our friends who become our family. Like, from my own example, I have been living away from my home for the past five years. In case of any emergencies I cannot call my family for help as they are far away from me, but I can surely rely on my friends who are near me. Secondly, the family cannot be chosen by us, we have to live with them however they are. In contrast friends are the ones we get to choose. We can have friends who are of the same age and have the same beliefs as ours, we won't have to compromise anywhere. For example, due to the generation gap between me and my parents, we have different view points so it becomes really difficult to explain them about my perspective but with friends I can easily put forward my viewpoint. Thus, it becomes easier to discuss about anything. To conclude, in today's world friends are more important than family. In my opinion, friends are the family that we get to choose and they give us the emotional strength to overcome our day to day problems while we are away from our home.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is always there to support you and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
you for the person you are. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
could be your colleague or classmate or even your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. Nowadays, they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our life and for most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
Use only "closer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more closer
and necessary than family.

There can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Firstly
, due to work
The phrase 'mostly everyone' is colloquial. In formal/ written English you should avoid it. Use "almost everyone" instead!
mostly everyone
is staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their home and all we have is our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Like, from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
example, I have been living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from my home for the past five years. In case of any emergencies I cannot call my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
as they are far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I can
surely
rely on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are near me.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
cannot
be chosen
by us, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with them
however
they are. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are the ones we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to choose. We can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are of the same age and have the same beliefs as ours, we won't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compromise anywhere.
For example
, due to the generation gap between me and my parents, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view points
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
really
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
them about my perspective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
I can
easily
put forward my viewpoint.
Thus
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
easier to
Did you mean simply "discuss anything"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about anything
.

To conclude
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choose and
they give us the emotional strength to overcome our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
problems while we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from our home.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people think that they can learn better bu themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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