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Some people think that they can go to to gym to remain fit while other think that there are other better ways Discuss both views along with your opinion v.2

Some people think that they can go to to gym to remain fit while other think that there are other better ways 2
Recently we can see, how people are taking care of themselves and stay in shape, by doing several activities to remain fit. Attending to the gym is a way for some people to be healthy, others believe there are better ways could help to look over our bodies and stay fit. On the one hand, number of people go to the gym to practice, release their work stress and build a strong body. First, the gym is the right place for many individuals, it gives motivation to the one, in order to reach his/her goal, to what shape they want to be. Second, at the club you can find personal trainers, that can assist and follow up on your performance, by giving several exercises and tips that help to perform well and be in shape with a short period. For example, athletes attend to the gym regularly to stay fit and ready for their teams, to act well. In my opinion I think that the gym, is the right place to motivate the person to stay fit. On the other hand, some people believe there are many other ways, could assist to remain fit. First, organize and schedule your time, plays a main role on your health, where the person won’t be stressful and worry about what he must do during the day. Second, eat healthy food, sleep well; even exercise at home by doing stretching or Zumba alone, can help to stay in shape, all of these can be done by watching videos through YouTube and you will save money. For example. Many doctors demand from their patient, to exercise by walking in the nature and enjoy the view that help to release stress and avoid any health symptoms. From my point of view, I don’t think that eating or playing some sport only, could help to stay fit. As a conclusion, going to the gym for some people is important to stay fit, but for others they can exercise alone at home, play some sports and eat healthy. In my opinion, at the gym you can practice well, get the assistant and advise from the coach on what kind of food, supplements you must eat, to remain fit.
Recently we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking care of themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shape
, by doing several activities to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
. Attending to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is a way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be healthy, others believe there are better ways could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to look over our bodies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
fit.

On the one hand, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
to practice, release their work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and build a strong body.
First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is the right place for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals, it gives motivation to the one, in order to reach his/her goal, to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shape
they want to be. Second, at the club you can find personal trainers, that can assist and follow up on your performance, by giving several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and tips that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
and be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shape
with a short period.
For example
, athletes attend to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
regularly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
and ready for their teams, to act
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. In my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
, is the right place to motivate the person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
fit.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways, could assist to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
.
First
, organize and schedule your time, plays a main role on your health, where the person won’t be stressful and worry about what he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do during the day. Second, eat healthy food, sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
; even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
at home by
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going stretching".
doing stretching
or Zumba alone, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shape
, all of these can
be done
by watching videos through YouTube and you will save money.
For example
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
doctors demand from their patient, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
by walking in the nature and enjoy the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and avoid any health symptoms. From my point of view, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that eating or playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
fit.

As a conclusion, going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for others they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
alone at home, play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sports and eat healthy. In my opinion, at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
you can practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the assistant and advise from the coach on what kind of food, supplements you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
eat, to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that they can go to to gym to remain fit while other think that there are other better ways 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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