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Some people think that these days people have too much options. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that these days people have too much options. v. 1
These days, people have numerous options to select a career and other things. I totally agree with the given statement. This essay will highlight various alternatives that are available for the citizens of a country. To commence with, it is true that an individual has several choices which revamp the person's personality and financial stability. Firstly, a number of new schools, colleges, universities are opened due to the growth of pupils that offers the scholars a ample of courses. Hence, It helps them to choose any professions such as nursing, engineering, mechanics, accounting and many more as per their interests. At the same time, the person's income increase and make them economically stable. Secondly, with the advancement of the latest technologies, youth can access an ample of entertainment sources through the internet, films, television. Similarly, the social media such as Facebook, Instragram, plays a vital role to find new friends globally and communicate with them. For instance, with the fast pace of the world, people are busy with their works. They do not get enough time to go out and make new friends. Therefore, teenagers prefer social networking to communicate with family members and make a lot of kiths to understand new culture, lifestyles, traditions as well as to explore the world. Furthermore, there is a travelling preference for an individual to visit all parts of the world. This is because flight tickets are less expensive as compared to the previous period. Next, several types of delicious food are found outside the house due to the growth of restaurants, hotels and the trained persons. Moreover, there are also a lot of options available in the shopping in places like street markets, store, departments and shopping mall at any time. Likewise, the residents can buy a variety of clothes, shoes, bags, household items and electronic appliances because of having too many choices available on it. To conclude this, I agree that people have numerous alternative that can support an individual to make the right decision. In addition, it assists the youngster to explore diverse culture, food and do shopping whenever they want because of the construction of several buildings.
These days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have numerous options to select a career and other things. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. This essay will highlight various alternatives that are available for the citizens of a country.

To commence with, it is true that an individual has several choices which revamp the person's personality and financial stability.
Firstly
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
schools, colleges, universities
are opened
due to the growth of pupils that offers the scholars
The phrase 'a ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a ample of
courses.
Hence
, It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to choose any professions such as nursing, engineering, mechanics, accounting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
per their interests. At the same time, the person's income increase and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
economically
stable.
Secondly
, with the advancement of the latest technologies, youth can access
The phrase 'an ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an ample of
entertainment sources through the internet, films, television.
Similarly
, the social media such as Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Instragram
, plays a vital role to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends globally and communicate with them.
For instance
, with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are busy with their works. They do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to go out and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
prefer social networking to communicate with family members and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
kiths
to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture, lifestyles, traditions
as well
as to explore the world.

Furthermore
, there is a travelling preference for an individual to visit all parts of the world. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
flight tickets are less expensive as compared to the previous period.
Next
, several types of delicious food
are found
outside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
due to the growth of restaurants, hotels and the trained persons.
Moreover
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options available in the shopping in places like street markets, store, departments and shopping mall at any time.
Likewise
, the residents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a variety of clothes, shoes, bags, household items and electronic appliances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices available on it.

To conclude
this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have numerous alternative that can support an individual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the right decision.
In addition
, it assists the youngster to explore diverse culture, food and
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
whenever they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the construction of several buildings.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that these days people have too much options. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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