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Increasing car usage in many large global cities has caused a number of problems. Some cities have proposed banning private vehicles from the city centre. To what extent do you agree? v.10

Increasing car usage in many large global cities has caused a number of problems. Some cities have proposed banning private vehicles from the city centre. v. 10
Many people believe that nowadays many global cities have several problems are from increasing car usage. In my point of view, it is hard to concur to such claims. Therefore, in the following paragraphs there are persuasive reasons to discuss this issue in depth. First of all, the main reason to support my position is that there are other ways to solve the difficulties. Take Melbourne for example, a few years ago, they reduced the price of taking trains. In order to encourage people to use public transportation more often instead of driving cars. By this way, it not only help people save money from travelling, but also improve the situation of environmental pollution. Such as traffic jams or air pollution. For this example, it demonstrates that avoiding personal vehicles is not the only method for the cities to solve the problems. Another reason for my belief is that driving vehicles is not the main reason for the issues of cities. For instance, my professor told us some of the major cities in Taiwan suffered from PM2. 5. Hence, the government requested the factories nearby to shut down for weeks. As a result, they do improve their environment. Consequently, it can be said that the problems we have may not be solved by banning vehicles. To conclude, there is not to say that the project of banning private vehicles is totally without merit. Nonetheless, it may increase other issues. The government should figure out better ways to help the issues or they may need to discover the real reasons of the difficulties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have several problems are from increasing car usage. In my point of view, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to concur to such claims.
Therefore
, in the following paragraphs there are persuasive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to discuss this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in depth.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to support my position is that there are other ways to solve the difficulties. Take Melbourne
for example
, a few years ago, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the price of taking trains. In order to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
instead
of driving cars. By this way, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
save money from travelling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation of environmental pollution. Such as traffic jams or air pollution. For this example, it demonstrates that avoiding personal vehicles is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to solve the problems.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for my belief is that driving vehicles is not the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, my professor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in Taiwan suffered from PM2. 5.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
requested the factories nearby to shut down for weeks.
As a result
, they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their environment.
Consequently
, it can
be said
that the problems we have may not
be solved
by banning vehicles.

To conclude
, there is not to say that the project of banning private vehicles is
totally
without merit. Nonetheless, it may increase other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should figure out better ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
issues or
they may need to discover the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of the difficulties.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Increasing car usage in many large global cities has caused a number of problems. Some cities have proposed banning private vehicles from the city centre. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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