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Some people think that there will be decrease in international travel in future. Do you think the less amount of international travel is a positive or negative development? v.2

Some people think that there will be decrease in international travel in future. Do you think the less amount of international travel is a positive or negative development? v. 2
Nowadays, tourism plays a consequential part in every one' s life; however, some urge that in future, there will be curb in international travel. In my opinion, the fewer amount of international travel leads to a negative development because tourism brings myriad of benefits to a nation. At the outset, the less amount of tourism will bring ripple consequences because there will be no exchange of culture and tradition as well as person will not annex his or her knowledge. With the help of international travel Peoples are able to transfer gulf cultures of different nations. For instance, in India because of tourism citizen of country accepted western culture which is followed by European but if it reduced then spreading of the culture will not take place. In order to expand their knowledge people travel of one country to another, whilst to get familiar with that places. For example, from China to England, folks are traveling to know their language, which is going to be an international language in future, due to which they do not have to face any difficulties; henceforth, if it alleviate then plethora of problems will be faced by human beings. Moreover, persons are having hectic schedule by the reason of which international travel is burgeoning. Nevertheless, in future amount of work will not curtail on an account of which tourism will proliferate, if international travel mitigate then mankind will not be able to visit various places like, Taj Mahal, Disney world and so on. Owing to which they will not get any opportunity to rejuvenate themselves. To cite an example, in Tata company work load is boost-up due to which they are not able to do effective work and they are facing health woe which stands as paragon. In conclusion, in future person is traveling less then have to face difficulties in life and will have shutdown development on nation.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
plays a consequential part in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s life;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
urge that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, there will be
Consider using a past participle here: "curbed".
curb
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. In my opinion, the fewer amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
leads to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
brings myriad of benefits to a nation.

At the outset, the less amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will bring ripple consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will be no exchange of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition
as well
as person will not annex
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
knowledge. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
Peoples are able to transfer gulf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations.
For instance
, in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
citizen of country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which
is followed
by European
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
then spreading of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
will not take place. In order to expand their knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
of one country to another, whilst to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with that places.
For example
, from China to England, folks are traveling to know their language, which is going to be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
language in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, due to which they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face any difficulties; henceforth, if it
Did you mean "alleviates"?
alleviate
then plethora of problems will
be faced
by human beings.

Moreover
, persons are having hectic schedule by the reason of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is burgeoning.
Nevertheless
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
amount of work will not curtail on an account of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will proliferate, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
mitigate then mankind will not be able to visit various places like, Taj Mahal, Disney world and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Owing to which they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any opportunity to rejuvenate themselves. To cite an example, in Tata
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
work load is boost-up due to which they are not able to do effective
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they are facing health woe which stands as paragon.

In conclusion
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
person is traveling less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face difficulties in life and will have shutdown development on nation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that there will be decrease in international travel in future. Do you think the less amount of international travel is a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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