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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development. v.9

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development. v. 9
In the modern life, commercial products are more and more needed extensive promotion to everyone. Therefore, advertising industry is becoming more necessary and swiftly developing. Many people think that development is very positive but others think that those positive aspects can not compare with negative aspects. These days, we can easily accidently see any advertisement on television or internet. There are many common advertisement type rapidly developing. However, instead of letting customer know information of products, what are advertised, these advertising companies make it become sign of disorder, what called “spam”. A typical example is that the advertisements without content are used to catch customer attention and disregard any feeling of them. However, we can completely ignore positive aspect of advertisement for economic development. Firstly, It help customers more easily approach product, what they want to buy and have objective perspective. Therefore, supply and demand can be rebalanced, bring benefit for both buyers and sellers. The advertisements with content can have quiet highly entertaining. They usually are based on a storyline and attract viewers like a short film. The great innovation of advertising industry in the current time is as the result of these above reasons. Conclusion, I think that any development will have its reason. The negative aspects of it depend on target of companies, who are behind the advertisements that we watch.
In the modern life, commercial products are more and more needed extensive promotion to everyone.
Therefore
, advertising industry is becoming more necessary and
swiftly
developing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that development is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects can not compare with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.

These days, we can
easily
Possible spelling mistake found.
accidently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on television or internet. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
type
rapidly
developing.
However
,
instead
of letting customer know information of products, what
are advertised
, these advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of disorder, what called “spam”. A typical example is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
without content are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to catch customer attention and disregard any feeling of them.

However
, we can completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
for economic development.
Firstly
, It
Did you mean "helps"?
help
customers more
easily
approach product, what they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and have objective perspective.
Therefore
, supply and demand can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
rebalanced
, bring benefit for both buyers and sellers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
with content can have quiet
highly
entertaining. They
usually
are based
on a storyline and attract viewers like a short film. The great innovation of advertising industry in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time is as the result of these above reasons.

Conclusion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that any development will have its reason. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of it depend on target of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, who are behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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