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Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages. v.7

Nowadays, human right has been becoming a hot topic in all part of the world. One a particular issue is playing a loud song during a party or for self-entertainment, which finally disturbs their neighbourhood. Because of that reason, some agree that the government ought to regulate and impose a strict punishment such as high fine to whoever make noises. This essay will discuss and scrutinize the benefits and drawbacks for each polar views. In one hand, strict law is effective for controlling citizen behaviour. This is due to the fact that informal warning is often disregarded by the community as it does not cause a deterrent effect. For instance, people used to play loud music all-night-long during the wedding party in their houses although many people claimed that they were annoyed. As a consequence, many children might not be able to sleep and were late for school the next day. However, after the government impose a fine for playing loud music at night, the number of noise disturbances reduced dramatically. On another hand, it is apparent that playing music is a human right. People prefer to play music in their leisure time and this right should be protected. Furthermore, strict control for every citizen activities by the government might lead to overpowering. As a matter of fact, numerous corruption cases before the Indonesian reform in 1998, was caused by the government's over control to keep the media silent. As a conclusion, I personally agree that public authority intervention is vital to reduce noises as long as it does not over control. In addition, self-awareness by the citizen to respect others in society must be declared.
Nowadays, human right has been becoming a hot topic in all part of the world. One a particular issue is playing a loud song during a party or for self-entertainment, which
finally
disturbs their
neighbourhood
.
Because
of that reason,
some
agree
that the
government
ought to regulate and impose a strict punishment such as high fine to whoever
make
noises. This essay will discuss and scrutinize the benefits and drawbacks for each polar views.

In one hand, strict law is effective for controlling citizen
behaviour
.
This is due to the fact that
informal warning is
often
disregarded by the community as it does not cause a deterrent effect.
For instance
,
people
used
to play loud
music
all-night-long during the wedding party in their
houses
although
many
people
claimed that they
were annoyed
. As a consequence,
many
children might not be able to sleep and were late for school the
next
day.
However
, after the
government
impose a fine for playing loud
music
at night, the number of noise disturbances
reduced
dramatically
.

On another hand, it is apparent that playing
music
is a human right.
People
prefer to play
music
in their leisure time and this right should
be protected
.
Furthermore
, strict control for every citizen activities by the
government
might lead to overpowering. As a matter of fact, numerous corruption cases
before
the Indonesian reform in 1998,
was caused
by the
government
's over control to
keep
the media silent.

As a conclusion, I
personally
agree
that public authority intervention is vital to
reduce
noises as long as it does not over control.
In addition
, self-awareness by the citizen to respect others in society
must
be declared
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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