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Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages v.1

Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages v. 1
Noise pollution is a daily occurence in some parts of the world and results in deleterious consequences. Some people are of the view that firm legislations to control noise is necessary today. Although, this would be a fast step to reduce noisy disturbances and ensure fairness in our society, it is not without demerits. First of all, an important advantage of such laws is that it would cause a drastic reduction in noise pollution. In other words, when there are punishment or fines for making noise in the public, people would take the regulations serious and ensure fast measures to limit noisy disturbances. For instance, individuals who play loud musics in residential areas would seek other means of playing music so as not to be penalised. This would reduce noise quickly. Furthermore such legislations would ensure fairness in the society. This is owing to the fact that there would be specific punishments for each form of noise disturbance. Thus, people would be aware of the penalty for falling short of the laws and they would not be unduely harassed or prosecuted. However, strict laws against noise are not without disadvantages. Firstly, it would affect the freedom of people. This is because people would be forced to forgo activities they enjoy which constitute nuisance to others. For example, a person may not be able to use loud speakers when listening to music in personal cars or homes in order not to break the law. Secondly, in an effort not to disturb others, people may use accesories such as head gears and earpieces that could cause medical complications. These include deafness, road traffic accidents and depression. With such firm laws, there would be more cases of these health problems. In conclusion, strict legislations to control noise would help to quickly reduce noise and it would ensure a just society. However, it would also impair on personal freedom and results in more medical challenges.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Noise
pollution is a daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
occurence
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world and results in deleterious consequences.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the view that firm
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Although, this would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
noisy disturbances and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
fairness in our society, it is not without demerits.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
is that it would cause a drastic reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when there are punishment or fines for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
in the public,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would take the regulations serious and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
measures to limit noisy disturbances.
For instance
, individuals who play loud musics in residential areas would seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of playing music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as not to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
quickly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
such
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
fairness in the society. This is owing to the fact that there would be specific punishments for each form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
disturbance.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be aware of the penalty for falling short of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
laws and
they would not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
unduely
harassed or prosecuted.

However
, strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
are not without disadvantages.
Firstly
, it would affect the freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be forced
to forgo activities they enjoy which constitute nuisance to others.
For example
, a person may not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
loud speakers when listening to music in personal cars or homes in order not to break the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
Secondly
, in an effort not to disturb others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
accesories
such as head gears and earpieces that could cause medical complications. These include deafness, road traffic accidents and depression. With such firm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, there would be more cases of these health problems.

In conclusion
, strict
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
and it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
society.
However
, it would
also
impair on personal freedom and results in more medical challenges.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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