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Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.10

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. 10
People have many different views about noise. Some people think that we should have some essential measures to reduce noise due to its negative impacts, while others think that there is no rule in making noise, so we can make noise as much as we want. I personally believe that both views have particular reasons about noise. On the one hand, there are several reasons why people like to make noise. Firstly, many people feel comfortable and concentrate on some various activities such as working and entertaining. For example, some of the people usually relax by listening music with the maximum volume of speakers to enjoy their favourite songs after a hard-working day even though they know, by doing this, it could disturb next-door neighbours. Secondly, some people think that noise is a part of the industrialisation and the modernisation processes, it, therefore, could not be avoided. Most of the urban citizens were perhaps familiar with traffic noise. Thus, they may argue that there is no reason to limit noise. On the other hand, it could be beneficial in some ways if we have some strict controls about noise. Living in a place with too much noise could lead to some harmful impacts to their health. Some of my friends told me that they had no healthy sleep because of intrusive sounds from a nearby factory. If this situation lasts for a long time, it will lead to a deterioration in their mental and physical health. In addition, the productive of work can be reduced as a consequence of noise. Many workers complain that they cannot concentrate on their tasks because of constant noise from vehicles in the street. In conclusion, it seems to me noise should be diminished to have a better life, even though some people insist on making a lot of noise without consideration for others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
due to its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
as much as we want. I
personally
believe that both views have particular reasons about noise.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel comfortable and concentrate on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
various activities such as working and entertaining.
For example
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
relax by listening music with the maximum volume of speakers to enjoy their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
songs after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working day
even though
they know, by doing this, it could disturb
next
-door
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is a part of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
processes, it,
therefore
, could not
be avoided
. Most of the urban citizens were perhaps familiar with traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
Thus
, they may argue that there is no reason to limit noise.

On the other hand
, it could be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways if we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict controls about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
. Living in a place with too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
could lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful impacts to their health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that they had no healthy sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of intrusive sounds from a nearby factory. If this situation lasts for a long time, it will lead to a deterioration in their mental and physical health.
In addition
,
The phrase 'the productive of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the productive of
work can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as a consequence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
workers complain that they cannot concentrate on their tasks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
from vehicles in the street.

In conclusion
, it seems to me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should
be diminished
to have a better life,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist on making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
without consideration for others.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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