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Some people think that there should be some strict control about noise. Other think they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuses both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that there should be some strict control about noise. Other think they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuses both views and give your opinion. v. 1
It is sometimes argued that news coverage should focus more on good news. While I partly agree with this view, I also consider that bad news should continue to be reported when necessary. There is a good case for believing that good news is under-reported. It is rare to read a positive story which makes front page headlines. Yet it is surely essential that the public are kept informed about some of the good things which are happening in the world. In recent years, for example, breakthroughs have been achieved in the treatment of certain types of cancer. It should form part of editorial policy to carry stories such as these, because they have a positive impact on public morale. However, it would be misguided to introduce restrictions on the reporting of tragic news events. Civil wars and natural disasters, for example, may sadden viewers and readers, but they are an unfortunate reality of the world today. While sensational journalism may at times exaggerate, it is important for the public to keep abreast of these happenings in order to have some informed knowledge of contemporary issues. Sadly, for instance, there is relatively little good news to report on the host of environmental issues facing the world. If these problems are ignored by the media, in the interests of reporting cheerful news, then the chances will surely increase of an ecological crisis. The media must act as watchdogs in the fight against climate change and environmental degradation. In conclusion, while I agree that important positive messages should be given more publicity, it is also necessary for the media to continue reporting all the significant bad news in the world today.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
coverage should focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. While I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, I
also
consider that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should continue to
be reported
when necessary.

There is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
case for believing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is under-reported. It is rare to read a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
story which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
front page headlines.
Yet
it is
surely
essential that the public are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
informed about
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
things which are happening in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In recent years,
for example
, breakthroughs have
been achieved
in the treatment of certain types of cancer. It should form part of editorial policy to carry stories such as these,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on public morale.

However
, it would
be misguided
to introduce restrictions on the reporting of tragic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Civil wars and natural disasters,
for example
, may sadden viewers and readers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are an unfortunate reality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. While sensational journalism may at times exaggerate, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of these happenings in order to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
informed knowledge of contemporary issues.
Sadly
,
for instance
, there is
relatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to report on the host of environmental issues facing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. If these problems are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by the media, in the interests of reporting cheerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, then the chances will
surely
increase of an ecological crisis. The media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
act as watchdogs in the fight against climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and environmental degradation.

In conclusion
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
messages should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more publicity, it is
also
necessary for the media to continue reporting all the significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that there should be some strict control about noise. Other think they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuses both views and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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