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Some people think that there should be some controls about noise Others think they could just make as much noise as they want Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that there should be some controls about noise Others think they could just make as much noise as they want 1
Arts should not be funded by the government and the same money has to be spent on development of sanitation and other infrastructures. I strongly advocate with this context. To begin with, Art has a value of its own and spending money on it, does not make any sense. In other words, an art, which holds creativity in it, gets recognized without marketing it publicly. The government should be considerate while spending unnecessary money on it, rather that money can be used in the development of the society by undergoing projects such as providing sanitary facilities in rural areas. The major problem which the nation is facing is lack of sanitary facilities. If the government comes up with a plan in providing such amenities then its going to benefit people in need. The quality of life in rural area can be improved by facilitating the villagers with sanitation. People are still polluting the environment, as they do not have toilets in their houses. The government should conduct a survey to estimate the funds required for overcoming this issue and ensure this problem is eradicated completely. For example, the villagers are leading a healthy life after sufficient toilets were built in their area. In addition, the government has to spend some revenue in the development of schools and renovating the existing ones. The schools has to be well constructed to ensure children's safety. For instance, educating youths will increase the literacy rate of the country, which eradicates illiteracy. Therefore, funding on these infrastructures will benefit the individual and the society. In conclusion, more care has to be taken towards the development of the country, which is possible by providing proper facilities such as sanitation and schools instead of investing on the arts, which seeks attention on its own.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
should not
be funded
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of sanitation and other infrastructures. I
strongly
advocate with this context.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
has a value of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on it, does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any sense.

In other words
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, which holds creativity in it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
recognized without marketing it
publicly
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be considerate while spending unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on it,
rather
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the society by undergoing projects such as providing sanitary facilities in rural areas. The major problem which the nation is facing is lack of sanitary facilities. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up with a plan in providing such amenities then
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
going to benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in need.

The quality of life in rural area can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by facilitating the villagers with sanitation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
still
polluting the environment, as they do not have toilets in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should conduct a survey to estimate the funds required for overcoming this issue and ensure this problem
is eradicated
completely.
For example
, the villagers are leading a healthy life after sufficient toilets
were built
in their area.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
revenue in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of schools and renovating the existing ones. The schools
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
to be well constructed to ensure children's safety.
For instance
, educating youths will increase the literacy rate of the country, which eradicates illiteracy.
Therefore
, funding on these infrastructures will benefit the individual and the society.

In conclusion
, more care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be taken
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the country, which is possible by providing proper facilities such as sanitation and schools
instead
of investing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, which seeks attention on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that there should be some controls about noise Others think they could just make as much noise as they want 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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