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Some people think that there are now too many cars on the roads and they are spoiling our towns and cities Do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people think that there are now too many cars on the roads and they are spoiling our towns and cities v. 2
As the world develops, it is becoming urban and the number of urban dwellers is rising. Hence, people prefer to feel independent, so the using of motor vehicles has increased widely. In my opinion, I agree that the growing number of motor vehicles on roads deteriorates our metropolis cities and town since it encompasses a wide range of problems. First, the high demand for automobiles is greater than available street capacity, which induces traffic congestion. For example, a substantial proportion of people commute to their workplace by their own cars, so cities cannot hold a large number of automobiles. As a result, the traffic severely disrupts and this contributes to not only generating a constant noise in conurbations but also wasting time. Second, air pollution is one of the detrimental impacts of having too many cars in towns and cities. This is because cars produce poisonous gas- carbon dioxide- which associates with polluting the air we breathe. Therefore, the toxic air affects our health in different ways from simple to serious problems. For instance, it could irritate respiratory tract, lower life expectancy and harm the lung. Finally, when numerous cars are on high speed routes, multiple vehicle collision occurs. This is due to many cars are too close to each other on highways. The impact is more likely to be deadly and the death toll may rise. In conclusion, the significant number of cars pose a credible threat and cause catastrophic consequences. I, therefore, agree that too many cars ruin metropolis cities and conurbations in towns.
As the world develops, it is becoming urban and the
number
of urban dwellers is rising.
Hence
,
people
prefer to feel independent,
so
the using of motor vehicles has increased
widely
. In my opinion, I
agree
that the growing
number
of motor vehicles on roads deteriorates our metropolis
cities
and town since it encompasses a wide range of problems.

First
, the high demand for automobiles is greater than available street capacity, which induces traffic congestion.
For example
, a substantial proportion of
people
commute to their workplace by their
own
cars
,
so
cities
cannot hold a large
number
of automobiles.
As a result
, the traffic
severely
disrupts and this contributes to not
only
generating a constant noise in conurbations
but
also
wasting time.

Second, air pollution is one of the detrimental impacts of having too
many
cars
in towns and
cities
. This is
because
cars
produce poisonous gas- carbon dioxide- which associates with polluting the air we breathe.
Therefore
, the toxic air affects our health in
different
ways from simple to serious problems.
For instance
, it could irritate respiratory tract, lower life expectancy and harm the lung.

Finally
, when numerous
cars
are on high speed routes, multiple vehicle collision occurs. This is due to
many
cars
are too close to each other on highways. The impact is more likely to be deadly and the death toll may rise.

In conclusion
, the significant
number
of
cars
pose a credible threat and cause catastrophic consequences. I,
therefore
,
agree
that too
many
cars
ruin metropolis
cities
and conurbations in towns.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that there are now too many cars on the roads and they are spoiling our towns and cities v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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