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After they complete their university studies, some students live in their home towns, others live in different towns or cities. Which do you think is better living in your hometown or living in different towns or cities? v.1

After they complete their university studies, some students live in their home towns, others live in different towns or cities. Which do you think is better living in your hometown or living in different towns or cities? v. 1
The person who has deep knowledge in a specific subject is called a specialist. The government does the sanction for the state running university, and promotes higher education. Every public university has its own strategy to edify students in particular subjects, and also in common subjects. Our society is becoming more modern each day, and the modern community needs the help of expert people. The experienced person has deeper knowledge on a topic, and he, ultimately, plays a significant role in his area. Thus, he contributes in solving various problems of the community. For example, a health scholar can easily detect and diagnose a health problem, which, a historian can not do. By this way, every specialist do his duty to the population, and convey betterment to the human. In order to make an adept person, it is the duty of the government to give them financial support during their learning stage. This type of granting bears human welfare, but it is also necessary to give economic support to others. There are a lot of students studying in general subjects such as language, history, human behaviour etc. , and they also play function in a country in their own way. They also need higher education. It is true that, today, the need of an environmental professional is more than a historian or a gender expert. Their act, however, can not be ignored. For instance, without knowing the previous strength or nature of a nation, the nation cannot build a glorious future properly, and there, the performance of a historian is inseparable. In conclusion, it is obvious that, every varsity has a wide range of subjects, and they have some specific performance to the community. The government provides a particular amount of money to students to ease the learning. There, should not have any remarkable discrimination in sanction among subjects.
The person who has deep knowledge in a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is called
a specialist. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does the sanction for the state running university, and promotes higher education. Every public university has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strategy to edify students
in particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, and
also
in common subjects.

Our society is becoming more modern each day, and the modern community needs the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of expert
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The experienced person has deeper knowledge on a topic, and he,
ultimately
, plays a significant role in his area.
Thus
, he contributes in solving various problems of the community.

For example
, a health scholar can
easily
detect and diagnose a health problem, which, a historian can not do. By this way, every specialist do his duty to the population, and convey betterment to the human. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an adept person, it is the duty of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to give them financial support during their learning stage.

This type of granting bears human welfare,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
necessary to give economic support to others. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
students studying
in general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as language, history, human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
and they
also
play function in a country in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way. They
also
need higher education.

It is true that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the need of an environmental professional is more than a historian or a gender expert. Their act,
however
, can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
For instance
, without knowing the previous strength or nature of a nation, the nation cannot build a glorious future
properly
, and there, the performance of a historian is inseparable.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that, every varsity has a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, and they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific performance to the community. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides a particular amount of money to students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the learning. There, should not have any remarkable discrimination in sanction among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay After they complete their university studies, some students live in their home towns, others live in different towns or cities. Which do you think is better living in your hometown or living in different towns or cities? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
309 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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