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Some people think that there are benefits in going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private schools can have negative effects on the society. Discuss both the view and give your opinion? v.1

Some people think that there are benefits in going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private schools can have negative effects on the society. v. 1
It is irrefutable that, private schools provide best quality education. However, some masses oppose that and believe that private schools may have negative effects on society. This essay will discuss both the views in the subsequent paragraphs and also provide my rational opinion before conclusion. To commence with, there are numerous reasons that people do not prefer to send their children to a private school. Primarily, these schools are very expensive and only rich families can afford to teach their kids in such schools. To demonstrate, a number of students belongs to middle class families, and they cannot carry the extra expenses for education. Therefore, many humans send their children to government schools. Moreover, sometimes, there may be more chances of bias behaviour among learners of government schools and private schools. To illustrate, Private school students express themselves superior as compare to poor students. It later become the issue in society. On the flip side, although private education centres are expensive, but provide quality education and keep their learners update with new technologies, which can help them in future. For example, private schools teach young kids about the use of computer and modern gadgets. It is very beneficial for schoolchildren to face the competition in future. Furthermore, private educational institutions provide neat and clean environment to students to be comfortable and learn. For instance, proper facilities of air conditioners and washrooms for children are essential. Basic needs of young kids must be fulfilled and then they can concentrate upon their studies. To conclude, although private schools are expensive, but they become the need for the education of modern students to face future challenges among education. From my prospective, private schools play essential role in making the secured future for younger children, because these private schools provide innovative education to their learners.
It is irrefutable that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
A determiner is probably missing here: "provide the best".
provide best
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses oppose that and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on society. This essay will discuss both the views in the subsequent paragraphs and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
my rational opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
conclusion.

To commence with, there are numerous reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Primarily
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rich families can afford to teach their kids in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. To demonstrate, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
belongs to middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families, and they cannot carry the extra expenses for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, there may be more
Did you mean "changes"?
chances
of bias
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
among learners of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
express themselves superior as compare to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It later
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
the issue in society.

On the flip side, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their learners update with new technologies, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
teach young kids about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer and modern gadgets. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for schoolchildren to face the competition in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
educational institutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
neat and clean environment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be comfortable and learn.
For instance
, proper facilities of air conditioners and washrooms for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are essential. Basic needs of young kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fulfilled and
then they can concentrate upon their studies.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they become the need for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
challenges among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. From my prospective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
play essential role in making the secured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to their learners.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that there are benefits in going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private schools can have negative effects on the society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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