Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. v.3

Today we face a trend in which more and more people look at shopping as entertainment, one in the past it was one of the household chores. I believe it is an absolutely negative trend and I will support my view with example. Firstly, this trend generally goes hand-in-hand with consumerism. this can cause various problems, the most important of which is environmental. take the extinction of animals that use in fashion as an example; our community because of entertaining, let these species die to get a piece of clothing that they may have similar ones in their closets. Secondly, shopping as a hobby good worsen financial problems. The more you spend money on goods that are not necessary for your everyday life, the more money you lose. As a consequence, we may have more poor families in our community and this could bring up various problems of its own. I think the fact that in the past people just bought the essential things, help them to create the modern society that we have today. We can learn from them and follow them. To conclude, regarding shopping as a hobby could bring us different problems, so it is better not to follow this trend and make it worse
Today
we face a
trend
in which more and more
people
look at shopping as entertainment, one in the past it was one of the household chores. I believe it is an
absolutely
negative
trend
and I will support my view with example.

Firstly
, this
trend
generally
goes hand-in-hand with consumerism.
this
can cause various
problems
, the most
important
of which is environmental.
take
the extinction of animals that
use
in fashion as an example; our community
because
of entertaining,
let
these species
die
to
get
a piece of clothing that they may have similar ones in their closets.

Secondly
, shopping as a hobby
good
worsen financial
problems
. The more you spend money on
goods
that are not necessary for your everyday life, the more money you lose. As a consequence, we may have more poor families in our community and this could bring up various
problems
of its
own
.

I
think
the fact that in the past
people
just
bought
the essential things,
help
them to create the modern society that we have
today
. We can learn from them and follow them.

To conclude
, regarding shopping as a hobby could bring us
different
problems
,
so
it is better not to follow this
trend
and
make
it worse
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts