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some people think that the teenage years are the happiness times of most people 's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion? v.2

some people think that the teenage years are the happiness times of most people 's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 2
Few person consider that the offspring years are the joy times of most individual' s lives But also others ponder that adolescent life memorable more goodness with a lot of valuable obligations. I will discuss my point of view in upcoming paragraph. It is true that juvenile life is golden period in their life. In facts, children can easily learn any new thing relate to study, outdoor activities. In addition, teenager age plays a vital role of life because it have depends on future as well as they would deciade their career. In these days, children must curious about their study that ' s why they cannot aware about physical activities like running, football and so on. Moreover, they always like to introvert himself as far as they turning them into coach potatoes such as they are many time killing on social site. In couple of years, children should try find the happiness only on internet. Otherwise, they always available on network sites that day' s they have loose their happiness, fun and recreation and extra. Moving towards, it is no doubt mature life compare to children life totally different again. But also this age person have very clear thing about what would do in their life nor they balances their personal and professional life. However, adult can easily handle any situation regarding to home either work place. After that, they always time maintain their smile with any matters. Lastly, they have determined their responsibilities. Thus, they always fulfill requriement with their family or who have always enjoy their life with a lot of entertainment, care and love. All said and done, I reckon, kid life is memorable period in whole life but nowadays child have only found happiness on phone that' s why they cannot feel real happiness in their life. When adults have full enjoyment their life while they creating new moments in their life.
Possible agreement error. The noun person seems to be countable; consider using: "Few people", "Few persons".
Few person
consider that the offspring years are the joy times of most
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
others ponder that adolescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
memorable more goodness with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
valuable obligations. I will discuss my point of view in upcoming paragraph.

It is true that juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is golden period in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In facts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
easily
learn any new thing relate to study, outdoor activities.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
age plays a vital role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "has"?
have
depends on future
as well
as they would
Possible spelling mistake found.
deciade
their career.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
The word 'curious' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
must curious
about their study that ' s why they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
cannot aware
about physical activities like running, football and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Moreover
, they always like to introvert himself as far as
Did you mean "they're turning", "they are turning", or "they were turning"?
they turning
them into coach potatoes such as they are
Did you mean "many times" or "much time"?
many time
killing on social site. In
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should try find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on internet.
Otherwise
,

they always available on network sites that
Possible spelling mistake found.
day&
#039; s they have
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, fun and recreation and extra.

Moving towards, it is no doubt mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
again.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
this age person have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
thing about what would do in their
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life nor
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "balance"
balances
their personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, adult can
easily
handle any situation
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
home either work place. After that, they always time maintain their smile with any matters.
Lastly
, they have determined their responsibilities.
Thus
, they always fulfill
Possible spelling mistake found.
requriement
with their family or who have always
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "enjoyed".
enjoy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
entertainment, care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

All said and done, I reckon, kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is memorable period in whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays child have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
on phone
Possible spelling mistake found.
that&
#039; s why they cannot feel real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
adults have full enjoyment their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while
Did you mean "they're creating", "they are creating", or "they were creating"?
they creating
new moments in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that the teenage years are the happiness times of most people 's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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