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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 1
An individual has to go through various stages during one’s life and each stage brings different kind of happiness. Many thinkers believe that the adolescence is the most joyous time, while others think that adulthood is more enjoyable part of lifetime of a person. Both of these views along with my opinion are discussed in this essay. On one hand, talking about boyhood, it is considered to be most energetic moments of a person’s life. In this stage, persons are free from responsibilities as they only have to focus on studies and all the basic amenities such as food, clothing and house, are made available for them by the parents. In addition to this, the friendship and brotherhood created at this time are at prime. For instance, a research has shown that the bonds which are created during one’s youth often continue for the whole life of a person. On the other hand, adulthood is a time when a person has maturity and understanding which is gained through various experiences. Moreover, a person, at this phase, is independent and all the crucial decisions are taken by the person himself. To illustrate, adults earn money for their own living, so they are free to spend money wherever they like. Apart from this, an individual also has numerous amounts of moments to cherish such as a first car or a first trip to abroad, which creates a sense of fulfilment. To conclude, I opine that the teenage period of an individual’s life is most delightful period as it is during this time one has carefree attitude.
An individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go through various stages during one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and each stage brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of happiness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
thinkers believe that the adolescence is the most joyous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that adulthood is more enjoyable part of lifetime of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Both of these views along with my opinion
are discussed
in this essay.

On one hand, talking about boyhood, it
is considered
to be
Did you mean "the most"?
most
energetic moments of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are free from responsibilities as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on studies and all the basic amenities such as food, clothing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
are made
available for them by the parents.
In addition
to this, the friendship and brotherhood created at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are at prime.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
has shown that the bonds which
are created
during one’s youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
continue for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a person.

On the other hand
, adulthood is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has maturity and understanding which
is gained
through various experiences.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, at this phase, is independent and all the crucial decisions
are taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
himself. To illustrate, adults earn money for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are free to spend money wherever they like. Apart from this, an individual
also
has numerous amounts of moments to cherish such as a
first
car or a
first
trip to abroad, which creates a sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
.

To conclude
, I opine that the teenage period of an individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
delightful period as it is during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
one has carefree attitude.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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