Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities v.3

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities v. 3
One of the most conspicuous trends of today' s world is finding happiness, pleasure, and reliefs, so, there is a debate of age factor. Some people assert that teenagers are happier as they are independent of financial worry, on the contrary, many people believe that adult people enjoy different colors of life and are more satisfied. As such, there are both merits and demerits to this trend, although I am of the opinion that the former outdo the latter. There are a myriad of benefits that can be attributed to happiness in juvenile age. The most preponderant one is that children don' t have to worry about financial resources as they are fully dependent on their guardians. Not only this relief helps a teenage to fully concentrate on study, but they also prosper well; worrying little about availability of things. Consequently, they can enjoy every moment of life with more confidence. It hardly needs to mention that all these merits stand a child in good stead, as far as making the time happiest one by enjoying a burden-free life. There are, however, some pitfalls that can easily overwhelm the benefits of the childhood phase. The primary one stems from the fact that an adult can live independently and enjoy all luxuries of life on his own. As it is a beautiful phase of life because job, marriage and career development mainly happen which ultimately brings colors to a person' s life. Besides, there may be some fundamental responsibilities but a mature person can easily sustain these issues. Hence it is evident why many people are in favor of predicting happiness in the adult phase. In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that the benefits of adulthood time period in terms of happiness are too great to ignore. Nevertheless, the potential drawbacks of responsibilities should be overlooked either.
One of the most conspicuous trends of
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world is finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, pleasure, and reliefs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, there is a debate of age factor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are happier as they are independent of financial worry,
on the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
colors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and are more satisfied. As such, there are both merits and demerits to this trend, although I am of the opinion that the former outdo the latter.

There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of benefits that can
be attributed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in juvenile age. The most preponderant one is that children
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about financial resources as they are
fully
dependent on their guardians. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this relief
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a teenage to
fully
concentrate on study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
prosper well; worrying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
about availability of things.
Consequently
, they can enjoy every moment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with more confidence. It hardly needs to mention that all these merits stand a child in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead, as far as making the time happiest one by enjoying a burden-free life.

There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pitfalls that can
easily
overwhelm the benefits of the childhood phase. The primary one stems from the fact that an adult can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
and enjoy all luxuries of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. As it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
phase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
job, marriage and career development
mainly
happen which
ultimately
brings colors to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Besides
, there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fundamental responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a mature person can
easily
sustain these issues.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is evident why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in favor of predicting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in the adult phase.

In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that the benefits of adulthood time period in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
are too great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
Nevertheless
, the potential drawbacks of responsibilities should
be overlooked
either.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of the most people's lives others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts