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TPO-41 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they are nowadays. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO-41 - Independent Writing Task Teachers were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they are nowadays. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Teachers always have had a crucial role in society and they have had far reaching impacts on human beings. However, teachers have not been value the same much during the history. Some people might believe that teacher are valued these days more than past, but I hold an opposite view for ensuing reasons. First, many changes have been happened in job market. These days, there are more many and various jobs than the past. In the past some limited jobs were existed and being teacher was a prominent job among those jobs. For example, the great majority of people were farmers and rancher, so the teaching was a high regarded jobs in comparison these jobs. On the contrary, nowadays there are plenty jobs that have more income and are more regard by people like financial analyst, data scientist, software engineer, electrical engineer and etc. Therefore, the teacher are regarded less by countries, since there are many better jobs that attract intelligent people instead of teaching. Second, these days the society members do not have any special relation with others. In better words, in the past people were familiar with their children teachers and all people live in small town. Therefore, people knew teachers and they respected to teachers. These days, who knows his children teacher and meet them in the streets? ! These days, especially in big cities nobody knows teachers and nobody care to other people. Hence, teacher are not appreciated as much as past. Third, teachers were valued by people more than these days, since there were not many educated people. In better words, the teacher were regarded as high educated people in a town and they helped to people in various fields. For example, some people could not read or write a letter, so they went to a teacher for reading or writing a teacher. Therefore, the teacher have vital role in society even outside of the schools. In other words, teachers impacts were not confined to schools and children, but ordinary people needed to teachers in their lives. All in all, although people regard and respect teachers, teachers are not valued as much as past. In the past, a big portion of children liked to be a teacher, but these days there are less children are inclined to become a teacher.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
always have had a crucial role in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they have had
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
far reaching
impacts on human beings.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have not been value the same much during the history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
are valued
these days more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I hold an opposite view for ensuing reasons.

First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
been happened
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market. These days, there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
were existed
and being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
was a prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
among those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For example
, the great majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were farmers and rancher,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the teaching was a high regarded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in comparison
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
On the contrary
, nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that have more income and are more regard by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like financial analyst, data scientist, software engineer, electrical engineer
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
are regarded
less by countries, since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that attract intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of teaching.

Second, these days the society members do not have any special relation with others. In better words, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were familiar with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
knew
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and they respected to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. These days, who knows his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them in the streets? ! These days,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cities'" or "city's"?
cities
nobody knows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and nobody care to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
are not appreciated as much as past.

Third,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
were valued
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more than these days, since there were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In better words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
were regarded
as high educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
town and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various fields.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not read or write a letter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they went to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
for reading or writing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
have vital role in society even
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the schools.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
impacts were not confined to schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
needed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

All in all, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard and respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not valued as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
liked to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days there are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun children is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are inclined
to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-41 - Independent Writing Task Teachers were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they are nowadays. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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