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Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. v. 2
A library of huge collection of books and it could become a tedious task to maintain it by humans and the probability of human error is prominent. The main purpose of the libraries is to provide information through books and references. I completely agree with the statement that a library should provide computer software, video and DVDs. Firstly, although we have reached the phase where each and every person has access to the internet. However, there are many people who are unfortunate and do not have access to the internet. Secondly, if such information centre has a computer software then it become easier to find a book using these softwares and minimize the time of manual search. Thirdly, all the physical books might not be available in the library. So, if a librarian would have access to the online library which could provide a soft copy of the rare and required book then it becomes accessible to the users. This would attract a large number of members reason being the availability of numerous types of books from around the world. Fourthly, users will not only get the information from books, but also can make use of videos along with current data from the internet by sitting in one place. Lastly, Due to availability of programs the searching and monitoring of book issuing will become easier. However, there are cons as well in providing hi-tech system. There can be some people who could misuse the facility, but with proper monitoring and maintenance of data the library could be made the one place to find all the references and information. To conclude, in my opinion I completely agree with the idea of equipping a library with books as well as hi-tech software and computer for the betterment of the current and future visitors.
A library of huge collection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and it could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a tedious task to maintain it by humans and the probability of human error is prominent. The main purpose of the libraries is to provide information through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and references. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that a library should provide computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
, video and DVDs.

Firstly
, although we have reached the phase where each and every person has access to the internet.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are unfortunate and do not have access to the internet.

Secondly
, if such information
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
has a computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
then it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
easier to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
using these
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
and minimize the time of manual search.

Thirdly
, all the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
might not be available in the library.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if a librarian would have access to the online library which could provide a soft copy of the rare and required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
then it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
accessible to the users. This would attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
members reason being the availability of numerous types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from around the world.

Fourthly
, users will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of videos along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
data from the internet by sitting in one place.
Lastly
, Due to availability of programs the searching and monitoring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
issuing will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
easier.

However
, there are cons
as well
in providing hi-tech system. There can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who could misuse the facility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with proper monitoring and maintenance of data the library could
be made
the one place to find all the references and information.

To conclude
, in my opinion I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of equipping a library with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as well
as hi-tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
and computer for the betterment of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and future visitors.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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