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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that the adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.12

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that the adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 12
Some say that youngsters can enjoy their life to the fullest while others opine that adulthood is the most charming period, even though some duties are to be fulfilled. This essay will argue that although grown-up people enjoy family support, I reckon that young age is the most happening time when teenagers can relish the freedom. On one hand, matured individuals have emotional support of their family, resultantly they can share their feelings and troubles with their spouse. Moreover, life partners also act as an helping hand in order to provide financial support. It is often seen that the biggest enemy of an individual is its loneliness. Therefore, motivating partner and mature offsprings complete a human being. To epitomize, a research conducted by Oxford University revealed that grown-up individuals who are not married often lead isolated lives. However, I ponder that youth can have more pleasure owing to more liberty. On the other hand, in teenage age children are not required to fulfil family commitments, consequently, they can easily migrate from one place to another in search of better future. Juveniles are not worried about undertaking family responsibility, as a result, they fully enjoy their present life without considering future savings. Furthermore, guardians are always available in order to guide their immature child and to eclipse their mistakes. To exemplify, research conducted by colleges revealed that teenage age is the most delighted age due to less pressure. To conclude, despite adults can have mental and economic support from their families, youngsters are more happy as they are free to live their life, thus it is a lack of responsibility that make adolescent joyous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that youngsters can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to the fullest while others opine that adulthood is the most charming period,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
duties are to
be fulfilled
. This essay will argue that although grown-up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, I reckon that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the most happening time when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can relish the freedom.

On one hand, matured individuals have emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
resultantly
they can share their feelings and troubles with their spouse.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partners
also
act as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
helping hand in order to provide financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the biggest enemy of an individual is its loneliness.
Therefore
, motivating partner and mature
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
complete a human being. To epitomize,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by Oxford University revealed that grown-up individuals who are not married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead isolated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, I ponder that youth can have more pleasure owing to more liberty.

On the other hand
, in teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
children are not required to fulfil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
commitments,
consequently
, they can
easily
migrate from one place to another in search of better future. Juveniles are not worried about undertaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
responsibility,
as a result
, they
fully
enjoy their present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without considering future savings.
Furthermore
, guardians are always available in order to guide their immature child and to eclipse their mistakes. To exemplify, research conducted by colleges revealed that teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the most delighted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
due to less pressure.

To conclude
, despite adults can have mental and economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, youngsters are more happy as they are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
thus
it is a lack of responsibility that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
adolescent joyous.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that the adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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