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some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. do you agree or disagree? v.7

some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. v. 7
Few persons believe that the most precious thing about being rich is that a person gets chance to support another person who has a need. The sentence should be explained properly. I would agree on the given statement. Rich people have a that power who can fulfil all the need which they want to. Now a day, wealth is the most important thing to bring all the happiness. There are many organizations which are handled by the rich people who help the needed persons. It is not the only duty of wealthy people to help others, there is a duty of government too. All the class of people should donate some amount of their income, in this way poor person will get help. If this helps, get successful many things will be affected like crime rate can be prevented, there were no lack of cash so that they can get the proper medical treatment. So, there are various benefits of getting help. Another scenario is the misuse of this type of help. Few persons get the wrong benefits of financial help, they waste cash in wrong form. They waste the property on narcotic products which affect the nation too. Therefor, there are some disadvantages which should be stopped. In conclusion, I would completely agree with the statement that rich persons can help the poor people by means of any form. The help will enhance the development of the nation too. By the means of education help, human beings' personal development will become better too.
Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
believe that the most precious thing about being rich is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
chance to support another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who has a need. The sentence should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
properly
. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a that power who can fulfil all the need which they want to.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day, wealth is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to bring all the happiness. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations which
are handled
by the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
. It is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
duty of wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others, there is a duty of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
too. All the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of their income, in this way poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. If this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
like crime rate can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
, there were no lack of cash
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the proper medical treatment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there are various benefits of getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Another scenario is the misuse of this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
benefits of financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, they waste cash in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
form. They waste the property on narcotic products which affect the nation too.

Therefor, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

In conclusion
, I would completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by means of any form. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
will enhance the development of the nation too. By the means of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, human beings' personal development will become better too.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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