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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. v. 4
In today’s worlds, everyone wants to be rich enough, and they have their own perception of being rich. Some people believe that being rich person should capable to help other people. I fully agree with this statement and this essay will argue why for rich people, helping others is the most essential thing rather than showing status and getting recognition People with high status and wealth can Contribute to minimize the world’s hunger people index. Recent research from the University of California demonstrate the horrible stats as 30% for world’s population sleeping without having a food. In addition to that they can also help the government bodies or NGO to provide better education and infrastructure to poor people. One of the examples I have recently seen in India, where business tycoon MR RATAN TATA donated 10 % of his earning in NGOs which is further utilized in the establishment of schools and houses for poor people. On the other hand, there are people who believe that being rich is only equivalent in status and show-off. They believe in spending money in parties and pubs where food which can fill the stomach of thousands of people is all goes in wastage. Recently an Incident happens in Australia, where a well-established rich businessman organised a birthday party and food wastage was around 100 thousand Kilograms People should help others if they are capable and rich enough. This essay discussed why and how a person gets the opportunity to support poor and hunger people in order to make them healthy and well educated.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s worlds, everyone wants to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, and they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
person should capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and this essay will argue why for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, helping others is the most essential thing
rather
than showing status and getting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
recognition


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
with high status and wealth can Contribute to minimize the world’s hunger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
index. Recent research from the University of California demonstrate the horrible stats as 30% for world’s population sleeping without having
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "food".
a food
.
In addition
to that they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies or NGO to provide better education and infrastructure to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. One of the examples I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in India, where business tycoon MR
Possible spelling mistake found.
RATAN
TATA donated 10 % of his earning in NGOs which is
further
utilized in the establishment of schools and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
equivalent in status and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-off. They believe in spending money in parties and pubs where food which can
The usual prepositions to use after "fill" is 'with' not "the" Did you mean "fill the stomach with"?
fill the stomach of
thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is all goes in wastage. Recently an Incident happens in Australia, where a well-established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
businessman
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
a birthday party and food wastage was around 100 thousand
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Kilograms


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others if they are capable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. This essay discussed why and how a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the opportunity to support poor and hunger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them healthy and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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