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Many people believe that social networking sites ( such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v. 124 v.21

Many people believe that social networking sites ( such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 124 v. 21
Social networking sites are becoming increasingly popular. However, it is argued that they adversely affected the society as a whole as well as individuals. While I strongly believe that these sites have been beneficial to individuals, they have definitely harmed local communities. It is no doubt that social media websites have been advantageous to individuals for various reasons. First and foremost, they are now used as a method of communication. For instance, Facebook has made it easier to get in touch with people from all over the world since you have the opportunity to check their profiles and even their interests. Surprisingly, researchers claimed that over 30% of today’s relationships are a result of meeting on the social networking sites. Not only is Facebook used as a way to communicate, but it is also used as a source of information as people’s profiles usually contain most of their information, such as marital status, birth date, education and many other data. As a result, it is easy to know almost everything you want about a specific person without awkwardly asking them. Although these reasons are favourable for individuals, the impact on society is the total opposite. Quite on the contrary, local communities are suffering from the drawbacks of these websites. Unfortunately, societies nowadays appear to be fragmented, where each person prefers to contact people online, in lieu of meeting them face to face. Consequently, relationships within the society are rarely found, which indeed has created an unsociable environment. To conclude, individuals are experiencing positive effects because of social networking sites. On the other hand, it is worth noting that the effects on the society is hazardous and needs corrective actions to avoid having a completely disjointed community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are becoming
increasingly
popular.
However
, it
is argued
that they
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. While I
strongly
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have been beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, they have definitely harmed local communities.

It is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media websites have been advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
for various reasons.
First
and foremost, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a method of communication.
For instance
, Facebook has made it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all over the world since you have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their profiles and even their interests.
Surprisingly
, researchers claimed that over 30% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s relationships are a result of meeting on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is Facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a way to communicate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a source of information as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s profiles
usually
contain most of their information, such as marital status, birth date, education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other data.
As a result
, it is easy to know almost everything you want about a specific person without
awkwardly
asking them. Although these reasons are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, the impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is the total opposite.

Quite
on the contrary
, local communities are suffering from the drawbacks of these websites. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
nowadays appear to
be fragmented
, where each person prefers to contact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
online, in lieu of meeting them face to face.
Consequently
, relationships within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are rarely found, which
indeed
has created an unsociable environment.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are experiencing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
On the other hand
, it is worth noting that the effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is hazardous and needs corrective actions to avoid having a completely disjointed community.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites ( such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 124 v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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