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Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give you opinion. v.5

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. v. 5
It is believed that people can together easily and be intimate due to the internet, however other belief is society is getting alone during on the internet. This essay will discuss two sides of this. It is clear that the internet is the most comfortable communication way nowadays. Thus, many people choose to connect with some app or website in order to chit chat. Therefore, everybody can see or talk with the person who wanted to talk, wherever they are. Doubtless, the internet which is the most cheapest and most accessible way to connect to others, has an amazing effect to close anyone. For instance, marriages can start with online chats, because people can meet and analyse the future spouse's every aspects, including characteristic specialities. The internet has perfect power to connect people, and also we can access everywhere our friends or family linking to it without more spending time. On the other hand, some people are getting an introvert person related to the internet. These people can choose the robots rather than real human or unlimited hours on the internet could affect in a bad way. Day by day, the society is far away from human-being. Actually, it seems on the contract, according to many surveys. The internet has positive effects not only personal, also social meaning. Even if a person prefers connecting with a robot due to the internet, she or he should not feel lonely, because she can reach what she does. In conclusion, I restate that the people can reach via the internet and they feel like face to face, so internet has a huge positive effect to initiate for the people. I strongly believe that, the societies can open each others related to the internet.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can together
easily
and be intimate due to the internet,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
belief is society is getting alone during on the internet. This essay will discuss two sides of this.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the internet is the most comfortable communication way nowadays.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to connect with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
app or website in order to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
chit chat
.
Therefore
, everybody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or talk with the person who wanted to talk, wherever they are. Doubtless, the internet which is the
Use only "cheapest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most cheapest
and most accessible way to connect to others, has an amazing effect to close anyone.
For instance
, marriages can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with online chats,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the future spouse's every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "aspect"?
aspects
, including characteristic specialities. The internet has perfect power to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
also
we can access everywhere our friends or family linking to it without more spending time.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting an introvert person related to the internet. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose the robots
rather
than real human or unlimited hours on the internet could affect in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. Day by day, the society is far away from human-being. Actually, it seems on the contract, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surveys. The internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
personal,
also
social meaning. Even if a person prefers connecting with a robot due to the internet, she or he should not feel lonely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she can reach what she does.

In conclusion
, I restate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach via the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
they feel like face to face,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
internet has a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect to initiate for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
strongly
believe that, the societies can open each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
related to the internet.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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