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Some people think governments should build more roads to improve traffic congestion, whereas other people think they should improve public transport. v.1

Some people think governments should build more roads to improve traffic congestion, whereas other people think they should improve public transport. v. 1
Many people believe that governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways. However, other people think that more money should be spent on improving public transportation. Personally, I think that both of these opinions have their advantages and disadvantages. The first reason for improving public transportation is overpopulation. The number of cars is rising dramatically. As a result of this fact, the contemplation of air is increasing that leads to irreversible aftereffects such as the presence of acid rains and different kinds of human diseases. So, the improving of public transportation will reduce pollution. The second reason for this is the possibility to decrease the amount of traffic jam that also has a huge influence on air pollution. Moreover, it will save time and people's money. One does not have to pay for gas for his car, car insurance, repair, oil change and etc. The third reason for this is a sharp decrease in the level of car accidents. People will feel more secure in this case. Road accidents have become a violent issue and people feel that the Government should do something to reduce the accidents happening on the roads daily. However, despite all these advantages, this decision has a few disadvantages. First of all, public transportation means the presence of schedule and working hours. So, one has to wait for a bus or for a train in a subway or call for a taxi in order to get somewhere. Second of all, it is a big chance that one has to spend some time getting to the nearest bus stop or subway entrance. As for roads and highways, I think it is a very important and topical issue. A personal car in this modern world is an essential vehicle. It gives one freedom and independence. Improving roads and highways governments will decrease the number of car accidents and traffic jams. I believe that in several years air pollution can be dramatically reduced by using solar energy to refuel our cars. Finally, I think that governments should spend money on improving public transportation as well as on roads and highways because it will benefit all people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highways
.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
Personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that both of these opinions have their advantages and disadvantages.

The
first
reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is overpopulation. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is rising
dramatically
.
As a result
of this fact, the contemplation of air is increasing that leads to irreversible aftereffects such as the presence of acid rains and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of human diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution. The second reason for this is the possibility to decrease the amount of traffic jam that
also
has a huge influence on air pollution.
Moreover
, it will save time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. One does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for gas for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
insurance, repair, oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. The third reason for this is a sharp decrease in the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will feel more secure
in this case
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
have become a violent issue and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
happening on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
daily.

However
, despite all these advantages, this decision has a few disadvantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
means the presence of schedule and working hours.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
wait for a bus or for a train in a subway or call for a taxi in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
somewhere. Second of all, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chance that one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time getting to the nearest bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or subway entrance.

As for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highways
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and topical issue. A personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in this modern world is an essential vehicle. It gives one freedom and independence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
will decrease the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and traffic jams. I believe that in several years air pollution can be
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by using solar energy to refuel our cars.

Finally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
as well
as on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will benefit all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think governments should build more roads to improve traffic congestion, whereas other people think they should improve public transport. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
359 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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