Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that seeing an ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media such as internet provide more effective way for the public to learn about history. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that seeing an ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media such as internet provide more effective way for the public to learn about history. v. 1
History provides an indispensable source of instruction to the people. It is argued that by visiting museums one can inculcate more awareness regarding past. Others believe that modern media is more satisfactory for people to learn about the past. This essay sheds light on various perspectives and establish a conclusion. On the one hand, museums provide tip regarding history by various reasons. Firstly, people can learn more about history if they visit in foundation because they can observe equipments and also guided by the staff. To illustrate, teachers prefer their students to go gallery and inculcate knowledge, as by getting close to the ancient objects one can gain a lot of clues. Secondly, it is also a fact that by visiting gallery people can become more emotionally touch with the past. Although, tend to send more time to learn nitty-gritty about the past. On the other hand, movies and eBooks also spread knowledge regarding history. These days people are more reliable technology and internet helps them to learn more about the past. Even though it is very convenient and comfortable to learn through the internet. As one can get aware of past events just by sitting in any corner of the world. Moreover people found themselves more curious to learn about past if they found their favourite personality or hero in the film regarding the story of the ancient past. Conclusively, by visiting the museum people can gain awareness regarding past because he/she had observed every single thing. However, the internet and movies are more convenient and entertaining to learn. From my perspective, Modern media found to be Fruitful to gain knowledge regarding past by enjoyable way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
provides an indispensable source of instruction to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
is argued
that by visiting museums one can inculcate more awareness regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Others believe that modern media is more satisfactory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. This essay sheds light on various perspectives and establish a conclusion.

On the one hand, museums provide tip regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
by various reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
if they visit in foundation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can observe equipments and
also
guided by the staff. To illustrate, teachers prefer their students to go gallery and inculcate knowledge, as by getting close to the ancient objects one can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
clues.
Secondly
, it is
also
a fact that by visiting gallery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become more
emotionally
touch with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
more time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
nitty-gritty about the past.

On the other hand
, movies and
Possible spelling mistake found.
eBooks
also
spread knowledge regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more reliable technology and internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Even though
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient and comfortable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
through the internet.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by sitting in any corner of the world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
found themselves more curious to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
if they found their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
personality or hero in the film regarding the story of the ancient past.

Conclusively
, by visiting the museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gain awareness regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he/she had observed every single thing.
However
, the internet and movies are more convenient and entertaining to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
. From my perspective, Modern media found to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
be


Fruitful to gain knowledge regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
by enjoyable way.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that seeing an ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media such as internet provide more effective way for the public to learn about history. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts