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: Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has had a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

: Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has had a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. v. 1
Thanks to the development of technology, students today find it easier to get information they need than ever before. However, the Internet use by university students often is at a risk of plagiarism and they tend to use the information that is not academically reliable. On the one hand, the Internet allowed students to get information they look for without taking any cost. In olden times, students had to travel to a library or institutes the information was kept to be reviewed that took time and money each time. Learners today, however, can access the resource easily without making a trip that is budget-friendly for students who do not own much money. Consequently, people now can spend the money that they used to use for transportation fee to invest in education. Likewise, the Internet can be used anywhere in our modern society and people enjoy learning outside of school, such as in a cafe or at their houses. People who have handicaps, for example, are not about to learn remotely without commuting to school. However, despite the positives of the Internet in education, there are some risks to use the information in a wrong way. Firstly, students usually collect massive amount of information and data from many resources, as a result, it can cause them to plagiarise on their own reports, which is a crucial mistake that researchers can make. Another concern is that the reliability of the resources. Immature learners, for example, often use the data which is incorrect or biases by mistake that can lower their score on their academic grades and performance. To sum up, although the Internet allows learners to obtain the data they need easily at any places, students could risk their careers using information that is not appropriate or credible enough on academic papers.
Thanks to the development of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
find it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they need than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
However
, the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
by university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
The adverb 'often' usually goes after the verb 'is'.
often is
at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
plagiarism and
they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
not
academically
reliable.

On the one hand, the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they look for without taking any cost. In olden times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had to travel to a library or institutes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
to
be reviewed
that took time and money each time. Learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
however
, can access the resource
easily
without making a trip
that is
budget-friendly for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
much money.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can spend the money that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for transportation fee to invest in education.
Likewise
, the Internet can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
anywhere in our modern society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy learning outside of school, such as in a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
or at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who have handicaps,
for example
, are not about to learn
remotely
without commuting to school.

However
, despite the positives of the Internet in education, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
usually
collect massive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and data from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources,
as a result
, it can cause them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'plagiarise' is British English.
plagiarise
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reports, which is a crucial mistake that researchers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. Another concern is that the reliability of the resources. Immature learners,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the data which is incorrect or biases by mistake that can lower their score on their academic grades and performance.

To sum up, although the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
learners to obtain the data they need
easily
at any places,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their careers using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
not appropriate or credible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
on academic papers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay : Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has had a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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