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Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. v. 2
There is no doubt that technology has been disseminated everywhere and It is believed by a segment of society that increasing communication via technology such as laptops, cell phones and so on has had a detrimental impact on reading and writing proficiency of young individuals. However, I disagree with this notion to some extent, which I intend to discuss in the subsequent paragraphs. Mobile applications and desktop software, which provide language supports, have been developed to make user's life easier, but unfortunately plays a sterling role to exacerbate their language skills. It is generally seen that youngsters these days have installed applications such as Grammarly, MS-Word in their gadgets which helps them to write correct by using auto correction tools, thereby making them oblivious about right and wrong words. Apart from this, communicating via social chatting applications, for example, WhatsApp, Facebook and so on, makes people habitant of using slang words and abbreviations which further put them in troubles while doing class presentations, colleagues group discussions and formal meetings as it becomes arduous for them to not to use informal terms. Therefore, it worsens reading and writing skills of young office workers. Communicating with the help of technology proves beneficial as software used by such devices provide hints of possible vocabulary while writing, not only improves writing skills but also increases cognitive skills of users. Moreover, ease of any time availability for chatting, owing to having mobile phones would make reading and writing skills of individuals more ameliorate. For instance, if an employee is writing an email to his or her senior on the laptop, it would be easy for one to write good and error free writing. Hence, sharing views via electronic devices boosts such skills. To conclude, although communicating with electronic gadgets have a few demerits, it seems more conducive in terms of providing lists of vocabulary lists, improving cognitive skills and easing in accessing devices helps in honing language skills of individuals.
There is no doubt that technology has
been disseminated
everywhere and It
is believed
by a segment of society that increasing communication via technology such as laptops, cell phones and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on has had a detrimental impact on reading and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
proficiency of young individuals.
However
, I disagree with this notion to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, which I intend to discuss in the subsequent paragraphs.

Mobile applications and desktop software, which provide language supports, have
been developed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
user's life easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately plays a sterling role to exacerbate their language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that youngsters these days have installed applications such as
Grammarly
, MS-Word in their gadgets which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to write correct by using
This word is normally spelled as one.
auto correction
tools, thereby making them oblivious about right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
words. Apart from this, communicating via social chatting applications,
for example
, WhatsApp, Facebook and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
habitant of using slang words and abbreviations which
further
put them in troubles while doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
presentations, colleagues group discussions and formal meetings as it becomes arduous for them
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
informal terms.
Therefore
, it worsens reading and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of young office workers.

Communicating with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology proves beneficial as software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by such devices provide hints of possible vocabulary while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increases cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of users.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of any time availability for chatting, owing to having mobile phones would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
reading and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of individuals more ameliorate.
For instance
, if an employee is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
an email to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
senior on the laptop, it would be easy for one to write
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and error free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
.
Hence
, sharing views via electronic devices boosts such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, although communicating with electronic gadgets have a few demerits, it seems more conducive in terms of providing lists of vocabulary lists, improving cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and easing in accessing devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in honing language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of individuals.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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