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Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as the unemployed and homeless people. v. 1

Since the beginning of the twenty first century, an increasing rate of the population, has shown a steep upward trend in unemployment and scarcity of the land. Hence, people are not getting a good job and a good place to live a better life. A portion of a society believes that, it is the responsibility of a government to look after their citizens and I firmly agree that every citizen should be provided with at least the basic necessities for livelihoods. To begin with, people, who think that it is the responsibility of an authority to help the needy people, also believe that the reason behind the unemployment and being homeless, is not always the lack of abilities, at times it is the result of corruption, nepotism and the lack of getting good opportunities. In this case, only government officials make a change by imposing a few strict laws. For example, it is surveyed that in India, the cast specific employment laws are the major cause behind a high unemployment rate in a certain type of cast. So, the government must behave strictly against the discrimination in getting work. Further, the authority must find the root cause behind such issues and behave accordingly. For instance, if illiteracy would be a hindrance in getting jobs among youngsters, the government should give educational knowledge as well as provide them an essential training, which can definitely be beneficial to alleviate this problem. Moreover, a nation can help the needy people, in a plethora of ways, such as by providing them loans, subsidies and free education, which helps people to get a quality of life. To conclude, as every citizen has equal rights to live their lives, I think it is the government, who must take care of people, especially people, who are jobless and homeless.

IELTS essay Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as the unemployed and homeless people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Since the beginning of the twenty
first
century, an increasing rate of the population, has shown a steep upward trend in unemployment and scarcity of the land.
Hence
,
people
are not getting a
good
job and a
good
place to
live
a better life. A portion of a society believes that, it is the responsibility of a
government
to look after their citizens and I
firmly
agree
that every citizen should
be provided
with at least the
basic necessities
for livelihoods. To
begin
with,
people
, who
think
that it is the responsibility of an authority to
help
the needy
people
,
also
believe that the reason behind the unemployment and being homeless, is not always the lack of abilities, at times it is the result of corruption, nepotism and the lack of getting
good
opportunities.
In this case
,
only
government
officials
make
a
change
by imposing a few strict laws.
For example
, it
is surveyed
that in India, the cast specific employment laws are the major cause behind a high unemployment rate in a certain type of cast.
So
, the
government
must
behave
strictly
against the discrimination in getting work.
Further
, the authority
must
find the root cause behind such issues and behave
accordingly
.
For instance
, if illiteracy would be a hindrance in getting jobs among youngsters, the
government
should give educational knowledge
as well
as provide them an essential training, which can definitely be beneficial to alleviate this problem.
Moreover
, a nation can
help
the needy
people
, in a plethora of ways, such as by providing them loans, subsidies and free education, which
helps
people
to
get
a quality of life.
To conclude
, as every citizen has equal rights to
live
their
lives
, I
think
it is the
government
, who
must
take care of
people
,
especially
people
, who are jobless and homeless.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
302 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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