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Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel fare in the future. Do you think it is positive or negative development? v.1

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel fare in the future. Do you think it is positive or negative development? v. 1
In the current scenario, travelling across the country has been changed drastically as compared to the past. Eventually, it has been often claimed that most individuals think there will be a depletion in the flight tariff in the forthcoming era. I completely agree that the decrease in air fares is a positive development because people come closer, hike in the economy, mixing of culture and frequent travels could be possible. To commence with, the decrease in transport prices will narrow the boundary across the different land and people would able to meet their loved ones. Furthermore, they can share their feelings as well as cherish the old memories and connect with new friends, which won't be possible if the fare haven't decline. In addition, whenever countries connect with each other their economy will arouse so that demand for import and export will not only cultivate country's GDP (Gross Domestic Product) but individuals can also starve with the betterment of the infrastructure. To epitomized, a survey conducted by Divya Baskar reveals that 82% hike in economy growth occurs when one kingdom connect with others international markets. Moving Further, culture becomes similar in the most countries around the globe since three years back. However, before it was difficult to communicate between two nations but now people speak with ease because of the same language trend all over the world. Moreover, decrease in air fares will enhance the scope of expanding business beyond a state. Hence, a businessman may frequently plan their trip as it will save the cost; also collaboration with new companies new companies in the aborad will be possible. To illustrate, an article written by Mr. Mukesh Ambani discloses that business could only be expanded if the government subsidize the cost of travelling to spendable amount. For now he is the top ten richest people because of support from higher authorities for reducing the cost of moving price. In conclusion, mentioned above thought such as not only connecting family members, an increase in the financial system, but also merging two nations moral values and often journeys for business purpose will tend towards positive development because of reducing the flight prices.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, travelling across the country has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
as compared to the past.
Eventually
, it has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that most individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there will be a depletion in the flight tariff in the forthcoming era. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the decrease in air fares is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer, hike in the economy, mixing of culture and frequent travels could be possible.

To commence with, the decrease in transport prices will narrow the boundary across the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
land and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "would be able"?
would able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Furthermore
, they can share their feelings
as well
as cherish the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
memories and connect with new friends, which won't be possible if the fare haven't decline.
In addition
, whenever countries connect with each other their economy will arouse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that demand for import and export will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cultivate country's GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
individuals can
also
starve with the betterment of the infrastructure. To epitomized, a survey conducted by Divya
Possible spelling mistake found.
Baskar
reveals that 82% hike in economy growth occurs when one kingdom connect with others international markets.

Moving
Further
, culture becomes similar in the most countries around the globe since three years back.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it was difficult to communicate between two nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
speak with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the same language trend all over the world.
Moreover
, decrease in air fares will enhance the scope of expanding business beyond a state.
Hence
, a businessman may
frequently
plan their trip as it will save the cost;
also
collaboration with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aborad
will be possible. To illustrate, an article written by Mr. Mukesh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
discloses that business could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be expanded
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
subsidize the cost of travelling to spendable amount. For
The comma is probably missing here: "now, he".
now he
is the top ten richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of support from higher authorities for reducing the cost of moving price.

In conclusion
, mentioned above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
such as not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
connecting family members, an increase in the financial system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
merging two nations moral values and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
journeys for business purpose will tend towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of reducing the flight prices.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel fare in the future. Do you think it is positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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