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Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 3
Nowadays, transportation ways are varied and Governments should invest for developing them. The main two means are roads and railways. I believe that railways are much important than roads to spend money for their expansion. In this essay I will discuss about the causes of my opinion. Trains transport passengers, equipment, and materials all over the world in a cheaper way. This is because of the energy consumption for travelling. A train can carry tons of things 50 times more than trucks with less fuel in comparison with that. This will lead to less expensive transportation and makes the rails more economical than roads. Moreover, the novel technological trains reach the speed of 500 kilometres per hour, which cannot compare with the cars speed. In no limit speed German autobahns cars move for 200 KMH for average and just about 150 kilometres so the people choose trains to go where ever they want. Therefore, these two are the main reasons for Governments to invest in railways rather than road. On the other hand, roads have some benefits such as convenience. For example, a train cannot be stopped by the passengers where they want to enjoy a natural scenery while a car can easily be parked. Also, trucks can reach impassable regions where there is no way to reach by trains. However, these two reasons are weak to convince decision makers to invest on roads and highways more that railways. To summarize this essay, although roads have lots of benefits for passengers and industrial usage, in my opinion, it is not rational to spend most of the money on it and its rival, road, is the winner of this game while plays a more significant role in transportation. The trains not only use less energy but also, are the quicker the than other mean of transport.
Nowadays, transportation ways
are varied
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should invest for developing them. The main two means are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and railways. I believe that railways are much
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to spend money for their expansion. In this essay I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
causes of my opinion.

Trains transport passengers, equipment, and materials all over the world in a cheaper way. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the energy consumption for travelling. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
can carry tons of things 50 times more than trucks with less fuel
in comparison
with that. This will lead to less expensive transportation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the rails more economical than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Moreover
, the novel technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
reach the speed of 500
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
per hour, which cannot compare with the cars speed. In no limit speed German autobahns cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
for 200 KMH for average and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 150
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
Did you mean "going"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to go
where ever they want.
Therefore
, these two are the main reasons for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
to invest in railways
rather
than road.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits such as convenience.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by the passengers where they want to enjoy a natural scenery while a car can
easily
be parked
.
Also
, trucks can reach impassable regions where there is no way to reach by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
.
However
, these two reasons are weak to convince decision makers to invest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and highways more that railways.

To summarize
this essay, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
have lots of benefits for passengers and industrial usage, in my opinion, it is not rational to spend most of the money on it and its rival,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, is the winner of this game while plays a more significant role in transportation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, are
Duplicated 'the' in the phrase: 'the quicker the'. Did you mean "quicker the"?
the quicker the
than other mean of transport.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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