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Some people think that the government should decide the subject for students to study in university Others believe that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people think that the government should decide the subject for students to study in university Others believe that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer 2
University education is totally needed nowadays to compete in the global village. While some people are of the opinion that government should choose the disciplines that students have to study at university, I believe the choice of subjects should be given to the students. On the one hand, if learners can choose the subject on their own, they will be more likely to do well in it because that is what of their interest. They excel in their field and when they enter the job market, they surely perform well in their career. Moreover, there will be lesser drop-outs of universities which are common if students are forced to study what they don’t like. This also instills a sense of responsibility in the students when they make a decision about their subject which afterwards influences their whole future. On the other hand, if the government chooses the subjects, the job sector would naturally be taken into account. It has been seen that there are several job vacancies without qualified people and many qualified people without jobs. With the governmental interference, there would be lower unemployment rate as the authority knows which sector has job vacancies and the number of people working in various fields would eventually be balanced. Secondly, it would help those students who find it difficult to decide what career to pursue. However, in the long term, it will be inefficient as workers do not have enough passion for their occupation. In conclusion, while there are merits of both situations, on the whole, it would be better to leave the choice to students to select their subjects as there would be lesser drop-outs and they would excel in their field.
University education is
totally
needed nowadays to compete in the global village. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should choose the disciplines that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study at university, I believe the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the students.

On the one hand, if learners can choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they will be more likely to do well in it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
what of their interest. They excel in their field and when they enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market, they
surely
perform well in their career.
Moreover
, there will be lesser drop-outs of universities which are common if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are forced
to study what they don’t like. This
also
instills a sense of responsibility in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which afterwards influences their whole future.

On the other hand
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
chooses the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
sector would
naturally
be taken
into account. It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
vacancies without qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. With the governmental interference, there would be lower unemployment rate as the authority knows which sector has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
vacancies and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in various fields would
eventually
be balanced
.
Secondly
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who find it difficult to decide what career to pursue.
However
, in the long term, it will be inefficient as workers do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
passion for their occupation.

In conclusion
, while there are merits of both situations,
on the whole
, it would be better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to select their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as there would be lesser
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
drop-outs and
they would excel in their field.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that the government should decide the subject for students to study in university Others believe that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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