Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views an v.71

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. 71
In this day and age, education system has changed a lot as a result of different point of views for people. Some people believe students should study the subjects they like while others advocate that only certain subjects provide by university are allowed. As far as I am concerned, both statements are reasonable. There are several reasons why university students should choose their favorable course’ subjects to study. First and foremost, in my opinion, society will be the beneficiary as students are passionate what they are learning. Passionate as they are, can university graduates become more productivity in the future. Apart from this, subject such as arts could be valuable in business rather than practical skills or technical skills. This is because in recent days in this contemporary society, the market is very competitive and creative things are very essential in order to capture the attention of the publics. Therefore, it could be predicted that more students of art are needed for business development in the future. Despite of these arguments, I believe that university should offer certain subjects which will benefit for the individuals and society. Firstly, Subjects such as science, technology and medicine, more often than not, are more useful and beneficial than art degrees. On an individual perspective, most obviously, these courses provide more job opportunities, better salaries and as a result of improving quality of living. On the societal point of view, the government can ensure that skills and knowledge in the economy are covered by forcing students to take certain subjects. Consequently, this would guarantee students to have better job prospects and the government would not worry leak of professional in certain fields. In conclusion, while there are two distinctive spectrums to both statements, but subjects such as science, technology and medicine are more instrumental than other subjects. I think, therefore, graduates should study certain subjects in which benefit to themselves and the governments.
In this day and age, education system has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot
as a result
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of views for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they like while others advocate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
provide by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
. As far as I
am concerned
, both statements are reasonable.

There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should choose their favorable course’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to study.
First
and foremost, in my opinion, society will be the beneficiary as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are passionate what they are learning. Passionate as they are, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates become more productivity in the future. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
such as arts could be valuable in business
rather
than practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in recent days in this contemporary society, the market is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive and creative things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential in order to capture the attention of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
publics
.
Therefore
, it could
be predicted
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of art
are needed
for business development in the future.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
these arguments, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which will benefit for the individuals and society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subjects
such as science, technology and medicine, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, are more useful and beneficial than art degrees. On an individual perspective, most
obviously
, these courses provide more job opportunities, better salaries and
as a result
of improving quality of living. On the societal point of view, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can ensure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge in the economy
are covered
by forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Consequently
, this would guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have better job prospects and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would not worry leak of professional in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
fields.

In conclusion
, while there are two distinctive
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spectra", the plural form of the noun 'spectrum'?
spectrums
to both statements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as science, technology and medicine are more instrumental than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
therefore
, graduates should study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in which benefit to themselves and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. 71

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts