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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. v.9

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 9
Some contend that there are many pressing concerns that a country must resolve first before putting emphasize to art. However, I personally think that art is an essential part of a culture and it is quite fair to allocate funds to preserve and develop art. Admittedly, there are some justifications by people who oppose spending on promoting arts. First of all, most art projects are expensive with no obvious outcomes that have direct relations to a nation’s income. For example, the monument of Kebangkitan Pahlawan in Malang city that adsorbed almost 1 billion rupiahs does not attract people that much. Besides, art is not a critical aspect of the sustainability of human’s life. Human’s life will not disappear just because they have a less taste of esthetic. However, I still support that the government should allocate budget for arts. Art is part of a culture which becomes the identity of a nation and if the culture is strong enough, eventually it could be a major source of income. For instance, Bali is an island in Indonesia, where millions of visitors come each year to experience the combination of conventional values and modern lifestyles. The government in Indonesia invests more than a third of their budget to maintain their traditional arts. Furthermore, art makes a life worth living- as food, art is a supplement for the human soul. It has a magnificent power to aid buildings, roads, parks, and everything, with its uniqueness. Just imagine how empty a room would be if there is no painting or decoration on the wall! Art is enhancing people’s life by leveraging their experiences and empowering people to possess beautiful imagination. To conclude, supporting art is important for a government as it would enhance the quality of life either by improving tourism industry or by providing a better artistic facility.
Some
contend that there are
many
pressing concerns that a country
must
resolve
first
before
putting emphasize to
art
.
However
, I
personally
think
that
art
is an essential part of a culture and it is quite
fair
to allocate funds to preserve and develop art.

Admittedly
, there are
some
justifications by
people
who oppose spending on promoting
arts
.
First of all
, most
art
projects are expensive with no obvious outcomes that have direct relations to a nation’s income.
For example
, the monument of
Kebangkitan
Pahlawan
in
Malang
city that adsorbed almost 1 billion rupiahs does not attract
people
that much.
Besides
,
art
is not a critical aspect of the sustainability of human’s
life
. Human’s
life
will not disappear
just
because
they have a less taste of
esthetic
.

However
, I
still
support that the
government
should allocate budget for
arts
.
Art
is part of a culture which becomes the identity of a nation and if the culture is strong
enough
,
eventually
it could be a major source of income.
For instance
, Bali is an island in Indonesia, where millions of visitors
come
each year to experience the combination of conventional values and modern lifestyles. The
government
in Indonesia invests more than a third of their budget to maintain their traditional
arts
.
Furthermore
,
art
makes
a
life
worth living- as food,
art
is a supplement for the human soul. It has a magnificent power to aid buildings, roads, parks, and everything, with its uniqueness.
Just
imagine how empty a room would be if there is no painting or decoration on the wall!
Art
is enhancing
people’s
life
by leveraging their experiences and empowering
people
to possess
beautiful
imagination.

To conclude
, supporting
art
is
important
for a
government
as it would enhance the quality of
life
either by improving tourism industry or by providing a better artistic facility.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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